It has been many moons since I walked the lonely and frightful path of writing the matric exams.
And yes, it is lonely. Even if you have the support structure in place, with your mother stuffing you full of fruit and vegetables to keep the energy and vitamin levels high, all the while as she tries not to panic as the event on a cosmic scale looms, foreboding.
You might be lucky enough to have cheerleaders in the background urging you on, or a recording of Barack Obama telling you that “yes you can”, but at the end of the day, you sit alone in the exam chair, facing the music.
It is a rather scary thought as if you alone are called to go into a dark and creepy cave to slay the dragon that has caused havoc in the world.
It is not only lonely but admit it, it is daunting. We have inflated the matric exams to become larger than life, and sadly, for some their lives actually depend on it.
For every matric learner, the challenges and expectations are different these final exams, but no matter the scope of the intended outcome, there is always an element of fear attached.
For some, they may fear they might not obtain the eight distinctions they worked so tirelessly for, sacrificing a social life while suffering sleepless nights.
For others, there is a fear they might fail or not meet someone’s aspirations.
In the middle of all this craziness, are those who just want to do well – a couple of Bs along with a distinction here and there is a salad of achievement worth digesting.
No matter what happens in these exams, the reality is that the experience clings to you like an odour for a while as the sun continues to rise and set. Hopefully, it is the sweet smell of success, and if not, well then make lemonade out of lemons.
Yes, for many seasons you will remember how nervous you were those mornings you arose to write the exams. The memories will remain like a virus your computer cannot shake.
During the exams, times will come when you wonder if you studied enough or if the dreaded moment will come when you will hit a blank wall or if you will be thrown a curveball with a question that plays havoc with your sense of intellectual capacity.
This is the nature of the matric exams. It is a monster, to be honest, that we have created. A monster with many heads that breathes fire and is far more scarier than a Zondo commission enquiry.
After many years, you do eventually come to a point where you wonder why you freaked out like a bull stung by a bee.
The truth is there is a stigma surrounding these exams – euphoria and doom all rolled into one. It presents a wide beautiful road of promise, but seemingly also a road riddled with thorns which leads to a cliff of no return.
This all sounds dramatic on a Shakespearean level, but such is the demons we wrestle with in our heads regarding these exams. For some, they can easily slay such a beast and plunge into the exams as if they are Heidi playing in the flower fields of the Alps.
For others, the journey is so cruel that they simply fear or cannot continue. This is a sad reality of how the monster is no longer a figment of one’s reality.
Yes, the exams are important, but they are certainly not the alpha and the omega of one’s existence. Hardly. The exams can act as an important springboard, but it is not the only launching pad.
Here is another important truth – the exams should never define oneself. It should also never be a yardstick of one’s importance in life, never be allowed to determine the success one hopes to achieve and it should never halt anyone’s dreams.
Life is more than exams and head knowledge. Life is about the experience. It is about living according to one’s God-given potential, abilities and inherited talents.
This does not mean one should not give your best in the exams, but rather be careful that the monster does to rule the roost.
Just breathe, relax and give it your best shot. Life has a way of happening, for life is far greater than the matric exams.
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