EDITOR – There was a report some time ago featuring a UK scientist, who, using aeronautical or space age jargon, said that no harm is done if a fly touches down on a surface. I just wondered whether chefs believe this observation. I was privy to an event last summer.
It was a hot still day on Earth and in my kitchen. A distant drone could be heard and a conversation took place.
“Is that you up there Buzz?” asked Charlie Cockroach, listening from his crack in the cupboard. “Where have you been?”
“Affirmative. This is me Bravo One (Bluebottle One). I have just flown out of a black hole and am going into orbit to look for an LZ. Can I touchdown somewhere?”
“Careful Buzz, that black hole was a dustbin and earthmen are on the warpath, swinging things around.”
“Roger.”
“OK Buzz, I have you visual. Also, your flight path shows aimless bobbing and weaving, which makes you a flying target. Land immediately. Boerwors Boulevard is directly ahead of you, as is Jam Alley.”
“Roger Charlie. I have both LZ’s visual.”
Buzz extended and lowered his forelegs, rubbing them together in anticipation of a faultless touchdown. He fired his retro rocket, scattering some exhaust debris and was immediately struck by a newspaper.
Charlie ducked into his crevice, shouting “Mind the glass window Buzz! You can’t fly through it.”
Buzz never saw it. He relentlessly smashed himself against the window pane until he fell back, feet up, stunned and spinning like a rap dancer.
Charlie felt glad he was a night operator and could walk to work.
