Managing children’s Christmas gift expectations

Families with young children are often faced with having to fulfil very high expectations about Christmas presents. Talk to them ahead of time to help manage their expectations and also teach values like gratitude and giving.

Open their eyes

Way ahead of time, chat to your little ones about what they would like as a present and what their friends are asking their parents for. Ask about children at school who may not have much, and how your children think they will feel when their mom and dad can’t afford to buy what they really want. Broach the topic of charity and underprivileged families. 

Also read: Durban chef shares one of her favourite starters for Christmas

Encourage the kids to think of how they can spread a little joy and love for another child before they think about their own presents. You can easily search for details of a charity project and NPOs in your area, and find out what is on their Christmas wish list. Making a gift for someone is the ideal way for the kids to spend some of their school holiday. But, the biggest take-away for them will be learning empathy and that giving is very rewarding. 

Shifting the emphasis from receiving to giving will also help children see the exchange of presents from a new and different perspective.

Be honest about finances

Parents want to see their children happy, and there’s nothing better than being able to tick off their wish list. But, you should set boundaries on what they can ask for. Children don’t think practically about gifts; they think fun and enjoyment in the right-now. 

Try to have your child pick gifts mindfully, or pick one gift that’s a bit more expensive that they actually need or will get the most use out of. Christmas lists are great in helping parents cater to their children’s needs, but they shouldn’t be seen as set in stone, and children should know this. 

A good way to approach the dilemma of affordability is to decide how much you can spend on each child’s gifts then give the child that amount in play money to “shop” with. This can help them understand how difficult it is to make choices and how far money goes.

If your child makes a list, ensure you set expectations that they may not get everything they have requested. Help them to understand that Christmas is about a lot more than Santa and gifts, and that every household has their own traditions. It can be fun to learn about these as a family by doing some research and looking at photos of Christmas traditions around the world. 

Remember, children go to school with a diverse group of cultures too, so start with their friends and let them maybe arrange a playdate to learn more about each other’s cultures, 

Materialism and potential greediness are behaviours that are mostly learned from their environment, which includes parents, friends and society overall, parenting coach Julie Romanowski said in a Global News report.

She recommends vocalising being thankful more often with your kids could deter them from wanting a new toy simply because it’s trendy. “This will make you reflect on yourself and helps you to be a role model for your child,” she said. “Are you materialistic? What’s your attitude around material things?”

“Your child is always watching you and possibly absorbing your own behaviour or beliefs, so it’s important to be conscious about your own attitudes towards gifts and potential excess around the holidays,” said Romanowski. 

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