UGOGO, Nomdanti Ndawonde, said her son tries his best, but struggles with crippling depression while finding work, she doesn’t blame him for struggling like so many others.
“It isn’t that he doesn’t want to look after us,” she emphasised via translator, Justine Aldous, who with another community member, Kaylin Venter, accompanied the Queensburgh News on a visit to her home.
“He works sometimes and things go well for him, but then once the job is over and he starts to struggle to find another, he gets depressed and begins to act crazily,” she said.
Venter had been alerted to the plight of the family living across the road from her own grandmother when one evening, some young girls had come looking for help in the neighbourhood.
Venter described a “horrific experience” one evening which led to her meeting the family in a post she shared on a community Whatsapp group. “Around 11pm we heard shouting in the street and looked out the window to see the house across the road on fire,” said Venter.
Withdrawls
“The fire was caused by an uncle who lives with the children and their Gogo. The uncle is addicted to sugars and went through withdrawals and he locked himself and the seven-month-old baby in the room and started the fire,” she said.
“Fortunately no one was hurt and I brought the girls into our garage and sat and comforted them until the situation settled. I went to check in on them the next morning and they were in better spirits. I took them some treats and spoke to their Gogo about rehabilitation for the uncle and I am currently trying to arrange it for him.”
The lockdown restrictions South African citizens have been living under for almost two months now have had some heartbreaking consequences for some families who, even before the pandemic, were living on the edge of poverty, daily scraping together whatever they can to eke out a living.
Ndawonde said one of her daughters has a job and the whole household lives off that single income. How secure that income is with so many losing employment in the wake of the state of disaster, is a source of almost constant worry but somehow, the grandmother manages to keep going.
No village to return to
Ndawonde explained that unlike other families, hers has no farm or village elsewhere.
“This is our only home and we all live here together but only one person is earning an income.”
The household, which comprises mostly children, is in some ways like the nursery rhyme of the little old lady who lived in a shoe struggling to look after lots of children while the cupboard is bare.
There are more than a dozen mouths to feed, with the children ranging in age from seven-months to teenagers.
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Authorities
Venter feels the system is failing families like these and was also unhappy about how authorities reacted to her trying to help. “My experience with the police who arrived was a shocking one. They knew this addict by name, didn’t make any arrests as they said they’ve arrested him twice in this lockdown period,” she said.
Venter said while she agreed that putting him in jail would do little to help the situation, she felt discouraged that there are stories on the news daily of people being arrested for violating lockdown regulations, yet a real problem in the community was handled so casually, offering no substantive help for a family clearly in crisis.
“Worse is, they shouted at me because I wanted to ensure the children were okay,” she said. “Is it not in our nature to care? Was I meant to stand on my balcony and watch as five little girls between the ages of 11 and five years stood shaking in the road alone, one holding a tiny baby? Surely not. In times like this we are meant to pull together and help where we can?”
Children need to be fed
Rather than allowing herself to feel powerless, the experience has galvanised Venter to do something to help the family. Even if only on a small scale at first.
“After this whole experience I had the painful feeling of accepting I can’t help everyone, I can’t control what those children are exposed to and that some things are beyond our control but I also got to experience a feeling of gratitude, the feeling of being in the right place at the right time and being able to provide some support and comfort to the children,” she told the Queensburgh News.
In her initial message on social media, Venter asked for help from the community.
“I’m not sure if anyone is able to help in the Queensburgh/Seaview area as I put together a food parcel for this family. Any help would be appreciated,” she said.
Offers of help were forthcoming from people in the community including her own family.
In an update later the same day, Venter was able to share this news: “I have managed to organise a few parcels and a donation from family of R1 000 and I’m going tomorrow to get some groceries to see them through for as long as possible with that,” she said adding that she had also been in contact with the local ward councillor to discuss creating some sort of assistance in the future for children in the community.
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Venter explained that she is a pre-school teacher and completed her practical at Seaview Primary whilst studying, so knows the type of situation she witnessed that evening isn’t unique.
“It is a norm for most of these kids and I want to help, get in contact, hopefully with the school and run a programme on Saturdays doing activities for children and perhaps get counselling for the children who need it.”
To that end, she has put together a proposal to try to set up some sort of help for this family and others, perhaps through a partnership with civic organisations and even schools once lockdown is over.
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