Legal threats and love letters sent to cyberspace

SOCIAL media and the internet have changed the world and the way in which we communicate.

There are very few people who do not own a cell phone, smart or not, or who do not have a facebook account.

We text and skype, and WhatsApp each other and generally tell the world about every little thing we do, down to what we had for dinner, complete with photographs.

One would think that with all this sophistication the techies would be able to find a way to block the memory of whoever owned the phone number you now have on your new smartphone or tablet.

For the past two years, with a new phone number, I have been harassed by a Johannesburg law firm and others, looking for a man called Frederik Black. No amount of explanation will convince the caller that I am not Frederik Black, nor am I his wife, and no, I have no idea where he lives.

At first it was slightly irritating but of late it has bordered on harassment. Even providing my work address and name (the real one) will not dissuade them from accusing me of hiding Frederik somewhere.

So while I wait for Frederik to do the honourable thing, I am also saddled with Ishmael on my work tablet. It seems that Ishmael owes Bargain Stores a lot of money.

There are about a dozen messages for Ishmael on my tablet. At first they are gentle reminders that his account is overdue and he owes in excess of R9000.

As the weeks drag on the messages become a bit persuasive; messages of the Wow! Fantastic! variety offering wonderful prizes. To stand a chance of winning these prizes all Ishmael has to do is phone the Bargain Stores office.

That obviously didn’t work, (he never got the message did he?) because two weeks later Ishmael is offered a substantial discount on the amount outstanding on his account. Poor Bargain Stores.

Time to realise that Ishmael has vanished off the radar. But Bargain Stores never gives up. No Mr Nice Guy anymore as they issue a last ditch threat. They tell our oblivious former phone number owner that if he does not pay his bill within five days he will be handed over to their attorneys for collection.

But where are they going to find Frederik and Ishmael? Will they trace my numbers through Rica and come knocking on my door? Why don’t the people looking for these absconders use Rica to determine that Frederik and Ishmael no longer have ownership of the numbers now issued to me. What is Rica for if not to trace people?

But it doesn’t end with these elusive account dodgers. There are the love sick.The message app on my tablet is blocked between certain hours to all but my closest friends and associates because there is a lovelorn man who phones the girl of his dreams, who will not give him the time of day, at 3 in the morning.

She never takes his calls or replies to his messages, but he persists, showering her with flowery words and confessions of undying love. I wonder if he knows his calls are now blocked and whether he realises that the object of his affections has a new number and has not received a single call or message from Sleepless in Seattle?

My part in what has become a love triangle is that I now have her old number. And although I have sent him a message that he is barking up the wrong tree, he doesn’t understand. He too thinks I am lying.

All this was rather confusing until I had a chat with a cell phone consultant recently. He told me that if there is no activity on a phone for some months the number is put back in to circulation and is issued to someone else.

I hope Frederik and Ishmael pay their bills soon and that Romeo finds a new love so that I can stop being a fly on the wall of their complicated lives.