Writing columns is not as easy as it seems

WRITING columns is far more stressful than one would imagine. The major problem is finding a topic that would appeal to a wide range of readers. When one leads a not very eventful life, harping on about it may be a tad boring to the more “out there” resident. And what I did this weekend should not be of interest to anybody. Or would it?

Do I write about the goose which bit my leg at the Umgeni Bird Park on Saturday as I tried to shield my grandsons from this cheeky devil? No, perhaps not.

What about the size of eggs. The dozen bought yesterday were marked extra large but in fact were really quite small. Perhaps laying hens were more robust in my youth, because I recall extra large eggs being, well, extra large. No. Boring.

Maybe I could have a rant about supermarket tellers who treat customers as if they were invisible and hold long conversations with their fellow tellers, while absentmindedly scanning your groceries. This is how mistakes happen, besides, it is so rude.

Or on a positive note, a commendation to the workers, engineers et al for the fantastic road we now have at the top of Field’s Hill. It is a joy to drive on, especially at night, and considering the difficulties encountered with this section of road, it is an exceptional job. Yes, the down section is horrendous but they will get to it, as they will Inanda Road. Hmm? No I’m always going on about roads and traffic.

What I could write about is the rain or should I say lack of it. Talk about the weather was always a good topic for coping with difficult social interactions.

I cannot remember when last my garden was so dry, a dustbowl enjoyed by my furry friends but so distressing to the gardener – me.

I keep an eye on the rainfall figures published in the dailies and it seems we have not had a decent downpour since May. Instead of the average 28mm expected in June we had 8mm. In July we had even less and the sprinkling on Sunday night, although wonderful, hardly wet the ground. All it did really, was obscure a good view of the super moon. (Another on 9 September, but that’s another story.)

The Mercury weather report gives the yearly average as 1009mm, yet as of 12 August we have had only 290mm. Those are sobering statistics. Are we experiencing a drought, and if so are we looking at water restrictions? Remember those? No car washing, no hosepipes in the garden, sharing bath water, bricks in the toilet cistern and cheerful little songs to make it all palatable.

I’m off to Cape Town on Sunday for two weeks so there will not be any columns from me over that period. The weather man has promised that there will be no rain in the mother city during that time and although sunshine is what is wanted to best admire the Cape spring flowers I could do with a little reminder of what quenching rain feels like.