Hope goes a long way for child-headed family
While their mother was in prison, the children were placed in temporary safe care, but due to neglect and abuse in the homes they were placed in, the children were moved from one home to another.
REMARKABLE is one way to describe 19-year-old Sphamandla Ndlovu who became the head of his family at a young age.
His mother was convicted for an unspeakable crime in 2009 and that instantly made him the sole carer of his five siblings, one of whom is living with a disability.
“My sisters and I grew up in KwaDabeka. My mother was a domestic worker. She worked very hard for us to have food on our table. Suddenly everything changed. In 2009 my mother committed a crime by killing her child after giving birth. She then got arrested for that. We became orphans while our mother was still alive,” said Ndlovu.
“During that period, we struggled because there was no income due to the arrest and the absence of our mother. We would ask our neighbours for food but as time went by, we started to become a nuisance to them,” Ndlovu said.
His story may be heart-wrenching but is proof that circumstances do not have to determine one’s potential.
While their mother was in prison, the children were placed in temporary safe care, but due to neglect and abuse in the homes they were placed in, the children were moved from one home to another.
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In 2010 Ndlovu’s mother was released from prison and the children were reunited with her, but she was unemployed and struggled to make ends meet. She decided to send the children to their maternal grandmother in the rural area as she was sure they’d be looked after and their basic needs provided for.
“My older sister was able to secure part time work and stayed behind while we were sent to our grandmother. Sadly, we were starved, neglected and faced severe verbal, physical and emotional abuse at the hands of our grandmother,” he said.
During this time their mother passed away and all hope of ever being reunited with her vanished. They also heard that while separated from their mother, she had given birth again and the new baby girl came to live with them.
Ndlovu and his siblings currently live in the one room that used to belong to their sister who has also sadly passed away.
He cares for his 23-year-old disabled sister and the three others sisters, aged 17, 15 and 5.
Every day he makes sure there’s food on the table, oversees their homework and even helps them get ready for school in the morning.
At the age of 17 Ndlovu, joined and became a beneficiary of the Tales of Hope Programme.
“The programme taught me how to look after my siblings, the importance of staying in school, different types of grants, the importance of grieving your loved ones, choosing good friends, abstaining from sex and drugs and health and wellness.
“Through the programme, my siblings and I received school uniforms and food and in December they gave us some furniture for the house as well. I also remember having difficulties with one of the social grants I had applied for and I was assisted,” he said.
The Focus on The Family Tales of HopePprogramme aims to offer hope to the hopeless.
“Our facilitator meets with a group of children from child-headed homes and through peer support the kids realise right away they are not alone. They build a community among themselves and our curriculum shows them that they can have hope for a better life.
“We also provide for whatever physical needs we can and hope to offer a feeding scheme to the children to take the pressure off being the sole provider for their siblings so that they can focus on their studies until they matriculate,” said Valerie Govender from Focus on the Family.
Ndlovu was recently able to apply for identity documents for him and his sisters and was also able to secure government grants for them.
Although he receive a disability grant for his sister and child support grant for two of his younger sisters, these are hardly enough for food, but he budgets and stretches the money for the month.
He is a very determined and resilient young man, determined to grow and learn. He does everything for the benefit and future of his family.
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