How to develop a positive relationship with your tween

It’s not enough to say that we love our kids. We also need to show them. But what does it mean to show our love? Simply put, actions speak louder than words, so it’s important that we show our love through actions, like being actively interested in your child’s life, looking at things through their eyes, and never forgetting that although they sometimes make us crazy, we love them anyway.

Here are six tips for parents on how to build a positive relationship with their tween.

Nurture the relationship

Keep in mind that all relationships take work. They don’t come out of nowhere, no more than good marriages do. Biology gives us a head start. If we weren’t biologically built to love our babies, the human race would have died out long ago. Fortunately, children are also born with a love for their parents. but as children get older, we need to strengthen that natural connection, or it will be eroded by the rigours of modern life. The best way to nurture a relationship with your tween is to practice kindness, acceptance, and allow them the opportunity to be who they are.

Make time for your tween

You cannot expect to have a positive relationship with your tween if you spend your entire day at work and she spends her entire day with her friends. As difficult as it is with the responsibilities of work and daily life, if we desire a stronger relationship with our children, we must make time for it.

Keep the trust

Trust develops during childhood, as your baby learns whether she can rely on you to pick her up when she is in need. By the time infants reach one year of age, researchers can determine whether they are “securely bonded” to their parents, which essentially indicates the baby trusts his parents to provide his emotional and physical requirements. We earn our children’s trust in different ways over time: by keeping a commitment to play a game with them later, by not betraying their confidence, and by picking them up on time.

Always encourage your child

Consider your child as a plant that has been genetically engineered to grow and blossom. If you see the plant has brown leaves, you should assess whether it requires additional sunshine, water, or fertiliser. You do not chastise it and yell at it to straighten up and bloom into its full potential. Every day, children shape their perceptions of themselves and the world. They require your support to believe in themselves as decent people capable of doing decent things. Additionally, they require assurance that you are on their side. If the majority of what you say is criticism or correction, people will not feel good about themselves and will not perceive you as an ally. You lose your sole power with them, and they lose something that every child craves: the assurance that they have an adult who adores them.

Resist the need to take it personally

Your tween shuts the door to her room. “Mom, you never understand!” Remember not to take it personally! This is not about you; it is about them: their jumbled emotions, their inability to regulate themselves, their underdeveloped capacity to understand and express their emotions. Taking it personally injures you, which means you will do what we all do in times of distress: either withdraw or lash out, or both. Which exacerbates an already difficult situation for everyone involved.

Don’t be a big bully

How would you feel if someone tried to hurt or humiliate you for your own good? Punishing your tween always hurts your relationship with them, which makes them more likely to break your rules. If there’s a problem between you, find a way to talk about it and work things out instead of resorting to bullying tactics. Withdrawing from your tween when he or she seems to be trying to push you away is ALWAYS a bad idea. Each obstacle gives you a chance to bridge or widen the gap between you and your goal.