Tips for raising happy kids

As parents, we all want pretty much the same thing for our children. We want them to be healthy and happy. The good news is that moms and dads don’t need to stay up all night reading the best parenting books, go to parenting workshops, or give their children everything they desire in the hopes of ensuring a healthier and happier life for them.

When it comes to good parenting, what your child actually needs most is you – whether they want to admit it or not.

We chat with Lianne Avila, a licensed marriage and family therapist, for the best parenting tips for raising healthy, happy kids:

Embrace the word “no”

In the short term, this will not make them happy (and might even feel like bad parenting), but in the long run, it will pay off. Kids don’t have to be happy all the time. Saying “no” helps your kids set boundaries for themselves. When children don’t hear the word “no”, they don’t learn to say the word “no” either.

Just to listen

Listening is one of the best things you can do for your child. When a child feels that you are truly listening, they feel loved. However, kids can tell when you aren’t listening, too – like when you are watching TV or talking/texting on the phone. So, make sure to turn off all electronic gadgets when they are talking. Set aside some time each day to listen to how their day went. Make sure to make appropriate eye contact and give positive feedback.

Allow your children to make their own choices

Children are always being told what to do. This makes them feel like they can never make a choice for themselves, so try and create opportunities for them to make choices of their own. For example, let your child decide what to eat, or have for dinner (within reason). Let them pick out their clothes for school, even if it’s not what you would choose. Give them options for activities, such as letting them decide if they would like to go to the park after school or watch a movie at home. This will help your child feel empowered and build confidence.

Give your children the freedom to express emotions

Children need to get their emotions out, so encourage them to express their feelings. Whether it is yelling, crying, stomping their feet or laughing, they can’t be expected to keep it all in. And, if kids don’t learn to express their emotions, it will come out in other ways, like health problems or anxiety and depression. When you let your child express their emotions, this lets them know that you love them unconditionally. As long as they express their emotion in healthy ways and don’t hurt anyone, it’s all right.

Encourage your child to play

It sounds counter-intuitive, but schedule unstructured playtime into your parenting plan. This will help them with their imagination and allow them to relieve stress and simply be children. Today, many children are so over-scheduled and overwhelmed that it makes the idea of free play time seem impossible. Try to resist the urge to sign your child up for every activity that comes along. This can actually create stress and anxiety for your child. Next weekend, make a point to leave some time unstructured and enjoy it.

Fill their bodies with healthy foods

Food is fuel for the body. If kids go too long without eating, their blood sugar levels can fluctuate. This can also lead to unnecessary irritability. It’s also important to make the fuel count. This means encouraging your child to eat nutrient-rich foods, like lean proteins, fruits, and vegetables, and avoiding too much sugar. Good to know: Recent studies have shown that a high sugar diet can contribute to ADHD or type 2 diabetes in children.

Let them see you happy

It’s really true – you can’t take care of anyone else unless you are taking care of yourself. What is your self-care like? Schedule time for yourself every day, even if it’s just five minutes of deep breathing or meditation. Take a bubble bath, go for a walk on the beach, or get a massage. This will help to make you feel good, which will make you happy. When you are stressed out and unhappy, your child will sense it. You really are their role model. So, start practising good self-care today.

*This article was originally published at Lessons for Love. Reprinted with permission from YourTango.