What started off as childish banter over a hat led to a fight and the loss of a beloved child.
Jeffery Mochane recalls that fatal day in April 2012 that changed their lives forever.
He received a call that his son (16) was at a clinic and, on his arrival, found the boy with a stab wound close to the heart.
He rushed his son to hospital where he underwent emergency surgery, but his injuries were too severe and he died a few hours later.
“It felt as if I had been stabbed too.
He was a good boy and always worked around the house.” That night held no sleep for him.
His wife and three sons could not stop crying and he had to console them.
Meanwhile a group of friends took to the streets in revenge to search for the stabber, but to no avail.
Jeffery learned of the planned revenge and tried to convince the youths that violence and hatred would not solve anything.
The grandmother of the perpetrator visited them the same day.
She was crying for both boys and apologised for her grandson’s behaviour and offered them money to assist with the funeral costs.
While she was there, community members and the group of friends confronted her, and Jeffery had to come to her aid.
The time Jeffery had to mourn was spent instead on keeping the peace, not allowing feelings to flare up and banning the thought of revenge.
At an incident at school the week after his son’s death, learners were injured when the group went looking for the boy who stabbed their friend and Jeffery again urged the boys to let justice run its course and “not to start a war”.
Jeffery, who lost a leg at 17 when he was pushed in front of an oncoming train during a fight, learned at a young age how to forgive and that bearing grudges will only make you ill and send you to an early grave.
Jeffery explains that he is not perfect and that he must forgive to be forgiven, and that he has made it his duty to keep any thoughts of revenge at bay.
According to Jeffery, his youngest son still has difficulty accepting his brother’s death and thoughts of taking justice into his own hands still enter his mind, so he speaks to the boy often and tries to convince him that “forgiveness will free his mind”.
“I told him that I will buy him golf clubs someday so that he can play and set his mind on something other than revenging the death of his brother.”
When asked if this tactic has worked, Jeffery just laughed and replied: “One day I’ll be able to afford the sticks. For now I’ll just stick to talking to and encouraging my son.”
