Ways to get your toddler to go to bed (without the tears)

Anyone who has ever lived with a toddler knows that they are often a bundle of brilliant, funny, amazing, stubborn, defiant, and strong-willed traits rolled into one. You can love and appreciate them unconditionally, yet there are times when they can drive you insane, especially when bedtime rolls in and they refuse to go to sleep. Toddlers can rapidly master the art of procrastinating when it comes to bedtime.

You know how it goes…what used to be a fast bedtime routine turns into one more book, a drink of water, the urgent need to use the potty (again!), on a cycle of repeat until it’s well past bedtime.

Why do toddlers stall at bedtime?

Toddlers adore their freedom and want to be a part of almost everything mom and dad do. It’s understandable that kids don’t want to go to bed since they fear missing out on anything else that could happen while they’re sleeping. Bedtime and sleeping are tedious for a toddler! There’s no one around to play with, and it’s dark and quiet. To this aim, many toddlers will dig deep into their bedtime stalling toolkit each night in order to stay awake for a few more minutes.

Here are five gentle ways you may use to assist your toddler transition to night without a fight:

1. Start counting down the minutes till bedtime

A toddler who is aware that bedtime is approaching will be more accepting of it than one who is unaware that bedtime is approaching. Give your child little reminders that it will soon be time to get ready for bed starting around 30 minutes before you start your bedtime ritual, and some even appreciate it if you set a timer. Shorten activities in the last 30 minutes to an hour before bedtime, since a long, fascinating activity will be more difficult for her to put down.

2. Say ‘goodnight’ to everyone

As you begin your evening routine with your toddler, go over everything and say goodnight to it. People in the house, as well as objects in her room or on her way to bed, such as toys, books, the potty, and even her toothbrush, could be included. This will reaffirm that everything is going to bed for the night, and it may make her feel more comfortable about going to bed herself. By telling her that the potty and the storybooks have already gone night-night can assist to avoid additional requests for books or trips to the potty.

3. Be adaptable and provide options

Give your toddler at least a few options (that you are okay with!) so that he feels in charge of his sleep ritual. Tell him that if he pledges to stay in bed and not call out for you continually, he can read a few more books or play with a few sleep time toys for a few more minutes. Whether or not this works will be determined by your child’s disposition, so use your best judgment while employing this strategy. It also won’t work for younger toddlers who aren’t yet verbally conversing, but it might work for older toddlers with rudimentary reasoning skills.

4. Make a sticker chart for bedtime

When new stickers are put on a sticker chart it can often motivate toddlers and give them a sense of accomplishment. Make a chart with the many steps of the nighttime routine on it. Once your toddler has finished the previous stage with good behavior, assign them the task of adding fresh stickers for each step. The stickers provide your child with a sense of accomplishment and positive reinforcement right away, which can encourage them to go to bed on time.

5. Make bedtime monotonous

If your toddler is still stalling or getting up frequently after you’ve tried everything, make the rest of your interactions as uninteresting as possible. Keep eye contact to a minimal with your kid after tuck-in, keep your voice low and uninteresting, and try to limit all conversation as much as possible. Don’t appear furious; instead, strive to be as neutral as possible when telling your toddler that playtime is finished. You’re giving your child less motivation to get up or stay awake and call out for you if you keep it boring.

Good to know

• Most toddlers are exhausted at bedtime and are delaying going to bed because they don’t want to miss out on the fun. They can fight sleep if they are too fatigued. However, they may not be tired at all, which could signal a scheduling issue such as too much nap time or not enough awake time between your toddler’s nap and bedtime.
• Procrastinating before bedtime is ultimately a disciplinary issue. Your toddler, just like she does throughout the day, needs your help comprehending and obeying your commands at night. Set and enforce restrictions to help your kid understand the expectations for nighttime and sleep.
• Finally, if your kid isn’t sleeping through the night, the problem could be more serious than just bedtime stalling and be a sign of a larger sleep problem. If you’re having trouble with your toddler’s sleep in general, speak to your healthcare professional for more information and tips on how to improve your toddler’s sleep.