Tips to deal with a screaming toddler

Meltdowns and temper tantrums are a normal part of child development and a way for little children to show they’re upset or frustrated. You’re probably exhausted from all your child’s meltdowns, and although you’ve considered joining the screaming match, you know it won’t work. Before you reach for the earplugs (or the backdoor), co-founder and director of Step Up Education Centres, Cindy Glass, has a few tips.

First, stay calm

If you start yelling and screaming at an upset child, you will exasperate the situation and, even worse, you teach your child the way to handle a tough situation is to get angry and act out.

The root of the meltdown

Is she hungry, overtired, afraid, overstimulated, or in pain? Does she want something you have said no to? Knowing what triggered the behavior will help you make better choices regarding what action is best to take.

Your tot is still learning

You are her guide and her first and longest-lasting teacher. Teach your child how to behave by how you choose to behave. She is more likely to do what you do, rather than what you say.

Emotional rollercoaster

Toddlers and preschoolers are learning to live in a world of other humans and complex scenarios.  They have not yet learned how to manage their emotions effectively, and emotional hijacking in the form of meltdowns is their way of trying to tell you how they’re feeling. It’s our job as parents to teach our children more effective ways of communicating their emotions and learning the skill of self-regulation.

Stand firm

If your child is screaming because she wants to do or have something you have said no to, you will need to dig deep and stand firm in your decision. Your little one will learn all she has to do is act out, and she will get what she wants. You teach your child how to behave by the choices you make.

Consistency is key

If you give in to one tantrum and not another, you will create a sense of confusion in your child, further exasperating the need for tantrums.

Actions and choices have consequences

If your child has had a tantrum because she’s not getting her way with you, try removing privileges by way of consequence. For example, “We won’t be going to the park today because you didn’t behave very well when I asked you to pick up your toys.”

The art of distraction

This may help in calming the situation. You can also try to avoid the tantrum trigger altogether.