Should you smack your child?

While smacking was generally an acceptable form of discipline in the past, it is a controversial issue today. We have heard how corporal punishment is forbidden and worse, children these days will tell you  how you are violating their rights should you lift your hand. If you broke the rules, a spank on the butt, a smack with the belt or shoe was the order of the day. Times have changed and more parents wonder if smacking is an effective form of discipline or it merely forces children to obey their parents out of fear of the consequences? Is smacking a form of child abuse or just a harmless form of discipline?

It promotes violence

If an adult is beaten up, it’s called assault. When a man attacks a woman in their home, it’s called domestic violence and these are punishable by law. Activists believe that there should be laws to punish those who pose a threat to children at home through physical violence. There is also a wide belief that when you smack a child, they will get used to it and continue breaking the rules. As violence becomes less acceptable in society, parents seem to be moving away from smacking because it does not teach children why their behaviour was wrong or how to correct it; it teaches children that the only reason they need to obey their parents is to avoid being punished. Smacking a child, can lead to a low self-esteem.

Consequences for bad behaviour

Hitting or smacking in anger also teaches children that the adult may lack self-control and that violence is the solution, often resulting in aggressive behaviour on the part of the child. The solution when disciplining a child is to enforce positive behaviour and letting the child know what is expected of them and what the consequences will be, if they don’t oblige. Children must also be praised if they behave or display good behaviour.

No harmful effects

There are parenting experts who feel that a little smack here or there, does no harm if done the right way. Their argument is that we grew up without toeing the line, but children today are out of order because they don’t get a spank. The experts believe that smacking, under the right conditions, is a perfectly acceptable form of discipline, with no harmful effects on the children.

Don’t smack a child under two years

Parenting expert Dr James Dobson doesn’t advocate for smacking a child under the age of 18 months as these children are not aware of any wrong doing and should not be punished for experimenting with their senses and exploring the world, they live in. However, children older than 18 months should be able to understand simple commands like a yes or no. A smack is sometimes the only option if you need to teach a child that sticking a finger into a plug socket or running across a road is dangerous. The pro-smackers admit that smacking is not always the answer, but that there are some offences that do call for a smack. Smacking itself may not be the problem, but rather the fault often lies in the way the smacks are delivered. Smacking without correcting the behaviour is a waste of everyone’s time.