A father’s love lives on
Wendy Kay is determined to follow in her son’s footsteps and make sure her grandson Dylan Jenkins is always comfortable and well taken care of.
“I try hard not to fill the shoes, but rather to follow the path the shoes set.”
These were the emotional words of Wendy Kay, who was mother to David Jenkins and is a dedicated grandmother to Dylan Jenkins.
To better understand the family’s story we need to go back almost 22 years to when Dylan was born.
“Twenty-nine weeks into a normal pregnancy Dylan decided it was time to meet the world,” said Wendy.
“Doctors and nursing staff tried their best to convince him otherwise, but despite their best efforts, he was born bum down with the umbilical cord around his neck.”
At birth, Dylan’s lungs were not properly developed, and he scored a very bad score on the Apgar scale.
“Dylan was pronounced severely mentally and physically handicapped and according to doctors it was very unlikely he’d survive the next six weeks.
“We were told to prepare ourselves for the worst – and so our journey with Dylan began,” Wendy explained.
Dylan was able to beat the odds and survived, but it was far from a smooth journey.
“Soon Dylan began having seizures, severe reflux and choking episodes,” said Wendy.
As a family, the severity of Dylan’s condition, coming with no warning, was difficult to handle.
“It was very difficult.
“You are living in this perfect world in your perfect bubble and then someone pops it,” Wendy said.
“Everyone blames themselves for the situation but you learn to cope.”
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Sadly Dylan’s parents’ marriage was unable to survive the stress and trauma his condition brought and his father took sole responsibility for everything related to Dylan.
David managed at home with Dylan for three years after the divorce, however, Dylan became a night screamer.
“David would go to work in the day and at night do everything he could to ease the situation with Dylan.
“But after some time he made the heartbreaking decision to place Dylan in the wonderful care of the Avril Elizabeth Home,” explained Wendy.
David relocated from Springs to Germiston so that he was close to the home and his son.
Every single day, weekends included, David made sure he spent as much time as he could with Dylan.
“David was involved in Dylan’s bath time at the home and enjoyed this special time with Dylan, who loves anything water related,” said Wendy.
As the years passed Dylan’s condition did improve somewhat, but with his growth came a whole new set of problems.
“Dylan’s well-being was always at the forefront of David’s mind and I couldn’t have been prouder,” said Wendy.
“I often found myself in awe of the way he could communicate with and understand what Dylan needed from different movements or facial expressions.
“He once said to me, ‘Mommy I am the luckiest dad in the world, my son could never disappoint me and everything he does is an accomplishment’.
“And I know if he was alive today he would be proud to walk down the street with Dylan.”
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Tragedy struck in 2013 when David, who was described as energetic, sport-orientated, kind, loving and generous, died at 41 years old.
“Cancer, unfortunately, does not respect a person’s fine qualities.
“David died 31 days after being diagnosed with cancer leaving us brokenhearted and devastated,” Wendy said emotionally.
She admits she still isn’t coping with the loss.
Though Dylan only really responds to sounds and touch Wendy is sure he missed his dad rubbing his face.
“He said to me, ‘Mommy I have to go now, but if you ever want to find me look for me in Dylan’ and it is true when Dylan smiles I see David,” she said.
Out of respect for David and the fine father he was, his family and close friends came together to form the #TeamDave Trust with the motto “One hill at a time”.
Dylan is the trust’s sole beneficiary and the funds are there to help care for him.
Any funds in the trust at the time of Dylan’s death will be donated to the Avril Elizabeth Home, for the wonderful care and love they give him daily.
“David did start a trust for Dylan, which pays for the home and Dylan’s medical aid, but it won’t last forever.
“The #TeamDave Trust helps cover other expenses over and above this, like Dylan’s wheelchair, which has to be custom-fitted and changed regularly to accommodate the changing needs of his spine, and save for the day when David’s trust runs out,” Wendy explained.
Wendy and the trustees raise funds for the trust in various ways, including cupcake sales, golf days, bingo nights and pub-niters events.
They have also received some donations over the years, which they are very grateful for.
Wendy welcomes any help when it comes to raising funds for Dylan and can be contacted on 079 895 4243.
When asked what she enjoys most during her time with Dylan, Wendy said, “We enjoy listening to music and making loud noises but most of all just holding hands.
“I think he has the most beautiful hands.”
How you can help Dylan
A fund-raising pub-niter will be held on March 2 to raise funds for Dylan and the #TeamDave Trust.
The fun-filled event encourages guests to bring their own food and drinks and be entertained by local amateur entertainers in a relaxed setting.
It will be held at Summerfield Primary School, in Sabre Road, Boksburg.
An entry fee of R120 will be charged.
The fun will begin at 7pm.
For more information call Wendy Kay on 079 895 4243.
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