Why bullying should be taken seriously
Different forms of bullying and the warning signs parents have to look out for in their children.
A 15-year-old boy wanted to commit suicide as a result of being physically and verbally bullied at school.
The boy was teased for being intellectual and not excelling in sport.
He wrote a suicide note that was, luckily, found by his mother before he could go through with his plan.
Fortunately, with the help of an ER24 counsellor and active steps that were taken by his parents and the school, the boy now lives a happy life.
While there was a happy ending in this instance, it is, sadly, not the case for a number of other children who are bullied on a daily basis.
Henning Jacobs, the trauma support co-ordinator at ER24, said: “Parents must pay attention to their child’s behaviour, to establish if they are being bullied.
“It is vital that steps be taken immediately to help a child who is being bullied.
“It is also imperative that immediate and effective steps be taken against the bully, or bullies, as their actions, if not stopped, could continue to affect a victim.”
The effects of bullying on a victim:
- The child could become withdrawn or undergo personality changes.
- There may be a change in school marks.
- They may also experience panic attacks and fear going to school.
- In extreme cases, the child may resort to suicide and bullying can also result in killings.
It is essential that parents have a close relationship with their children.
Children who are bullied mostly keep quiet about what is happening to them, due to being ashamed, however, some speak up.
It depends on the type of home they live in and the type of relationship they have with their parents.
“It is wise to educate children and discuss bullying with them as early as possible,” said Jacobs.
“While it used to be a case of girls displaying more verbal and emotional bullying and boys displaying more physical bullying, this has now changed.
“These days we find that girls also display physical bullying and girl fights are common.
“Boys now display more emotional bullying than before.
“Reasons for bullying, however, do not differ between boys and girls.”
Explaining some of the reasons for bullying, Jacobs said: “These include anything, from physical looks, weight, height and the use of braces, to the difference in cultures, race and colour, being poor, speech impediments or anything that makes a child stand out negatively to a bully.”
There are various reasons why children become bullies:
- They could be jealous of another child.
- They are unhappy with something in their own lives.
- They feel a need to impress others around them and believe that bullying is the way to do it.
- Violence at home, on the television or TV games also have an effect to some degree.
- Bullies can also be victims of bullying.
There are cases for example, where children are bullied at home.
Bullying, which refers to repeated behaviour by someone intended to hurt another person, either through verbal, social or physical behaviour, could include anything from making threats, teasing or name calling, to spreading rumours or pushing or tripping a person.
Emotional bullying is automatically part of the trauma experienced as a result of physical bullying.
Bullying usually starts verbally and emotionally and usually only goes over to physical bullying when the child who is bullied stands up for themselves or displays behaviour that the bully does not like.
“Victims never forget the bullying they experienced as a child, but can overcome it,” said Jacobs.
“While bullying has a negative effect on some victims for the rest of their lives, others become motivated to succeed in life.
“Children can also overcome the effects of bullying if they receive lots of care, love and even counselling.
“School counsellors or educational psychologists are trained to help children.
“Parents, teachers or children should seek their assistance.”
ER24’s emergency contact centre can be reached 24 hours a day on 084 124, for any medical emergency.
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