Corona Chronicles: Raise the flag(s)

Flags are at the centre of why Tracy Schloesser is going to start a B&B.

April 27, 2020

Tracy Schloesser 3 minutes read

– Opinion –

I have given this some very serious consideration, but once some semblance of normality returns to the tourism industry around the world, I am thinking of opening a Bed & Breakfast aimed at international tourists.

Now before you start thinking that I smoked the contents of my entire herb cupboard or did indeed finish that bottle of Caramel Vodka, the reason is much simpler than that. While on one of my many, many cleanouts I started uncovering a number of flags all over the house. So many in fact that it appears we might possibly have one for almost every country in the world! So the question I posed to myself (with tears in my little hazel eyes) was, what on God’s green earth would have possibly possessed us to buy all these flags? Could it have been that manic moment brought on by realising you have too much month left and not enough money, so you rush out and do some flag shopping to make up for not being able to afford that cute little dress you had been eyeing?

I do know the 2010 soccer world cup would have had something to do with it, but would we really have felt it necessary to display each nation’s flag every time they played? Some kind of weird supporters’ delusional fantasy brought on by imbibing far too much box wine? The mind boggles. Even worse though, was that we dared to actually go out and buy both a New Zealand AND an Australian flag! The sheer gall of it that we even allowed them in our house – considering that we are rugby arch enemies! All good and well for the soccer world cup, but straight after the world cup final, those two flags should immediately have been burned at the stake to show our undying support for our Bokke.

I mean, imagine if a house search had been done during the 2019 Rugby World Cup and the Rugby Police found not only the New Zealand flag but also an English flag! The sheer horror of it all! (Thankfully we didn’t have a Welsh one so that might have at least given us a diminished rugby jail sentence.)

So for the rest of lockdown, I am going to spend my free time searching for breakfast ideas for each country for which I have a flag. So for example, when the German tourists arrive, we will pop the German flag up on the flagpole and serve them fresh Brötchen with cheese and even some Leberwurst! (Oh and maybe some beer to wash it down as I also uncovered many, many beer steins in my cleanout! )

Prost everyone! Hope all South Africans have a great Freedom Day today – even though we aren’t free and probably don’t have any alcohol left to celebrate it anyway!

Missed some of the other Corona Chronicles? Check them out here:

Corona Chronicles: Witty Joburg resident documents past five days of social distancing

Corona Chonicles: A guide to sorting your cupboard when you have an emotional bond with your clothing

Corona Chronicles: Lockdown makes Joburger confront gridlocked passage and a lipstick dilemma

Corona Chonicles: Are mops considered an ‘essential’ item?

Corona Chronicles: Chicken or beef?

Corona Chronicles: Worry over wine stock after husband accidentally breaks three bottles

Corona Chronicles: All dressed up and off to the shops she goes

Corona Chronicles: Does reading a book and drinking a gin while lying in the sun count as housework?

Corona Chronicles: Lockdown’s become a puzzle

Corona Chronicles: New dress sense during lockdown

Corona Chronicles: How to manage household chores during lockdown