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Corona Chronicles: Completing the Comrades Marathon … in the garden

Can anyone tell Tracy Schloesser where she can collect her Comrades medal?

– Opinion –

So while we have been in lockdown, it appears I have completed the Comrades Marathon. Okay so it has taken me four weeks and some chance to do it, but who’s counting anyway.

My version is quite impressive as it has both a down-run and an up-run in one race: The down-run is the route from the driveway past the washing line (which can include having to dodge said washing if I stupidly hang it before my exercise routine) and then down the back of the house and around the pool. The up-run is just the opposite way! The funny thing is that it seems harder to get around the narrow part of the pool next to the Yukka tree on an up-run and I have nearly fallen in twice.

I somehow even managed to inspire HP (Husband Person) to start walking as well, which gets a bit tricky at times as we have bottle necks around the narrow alley at the back of the house when he is gently ambling and I am trying to do my version of running fast, and can’t pass him!

I also don’t have any water stops on my route but I do have weed stops. No, no – not that kind of weed (although if the alcohol runs out it might not be a bad idea) – I am talking about the weeds that HP pulls out on his morning stroll and then leaves scattered around for “someone else” to pick up! But I am happy to be that “someone else” as it involves extra additions to my workout routine – some stretches when I bend down to pick up the nasty little creatures and an arm workout when I open the dustbin on my next lap round. What is with these darn weeds during lockdown anyway – they are like some evil aliens that plan on taking over the earth, starting with my very own garden! They are so bad HP has taken to walking armed with a bottle of weed spray on some days.

Sometimes he also walks with the Poopa Scoop to pick up the many, many mountains that the Chocolate Logs seem to insist on depositing at various points of our Comrades route. Dodging them is quite an art I tell you, but so far it’s still Mom: 0; Chocolate Logs: 0.

My Fitbit (aka my 20 macaroni lap counter) is also working very well – although HP thought it really funny to throw in three extra pieces of macaroni to confuse me. Fortunately I speak blonde fluently and count my pieces throughout my laps (probably also because it also gives me a few seconds to catch some much needed breath so that I don’t sound like I am about to have a heart attack!)

So now I have two questions: How easy is it to plant weed and can anyone tell me where I can go to collect my Comrades medal?

Missed some of the other Corona Chronicles? Check them out here:

Corona Chronicles: Witty Joburg resident documents past five days of social distancing

Corona Chonicles: A guide to sorting your cupboard when you have an emotional bond with your clothing

Corona Chronicles: Lockdown makes Joburger confront gridlocked passage and a lipstick dilemma

Corona Chonicles: Are mops considered an ‘essential’ item?

Corona Chronicles: Chicken or beef?

Corona Chronicles: Worry over wine stock after husband accidentally breaks three bottles

Corona Chronicles: All dressed up and off to the shops she goes

Corona Chronicles: Does reading a book and drinking a gin while lying in the sun count as housework?

Corona Chronicles: Lockdown’s become a puzzle

Corona Chronicles: New dress sense during lockdown

Corona Chronicles: How to manage household chores during lockdown

Corona Chronicles: Attempt to re-create Mozambican holiday doesn’t go to plan

Corona Chronicles: Lockdown eating habits

Corona Chronicles: Thank goodness of homemade pizzas and braais that work

Corona Chronicles: A plan to overcome ‘cleaning envy’

Corona Chronicles: 15 aprons, 8 flasks and too many vases to count … it’s a numbers game in Tracy Schloesser’s kitchen

Corona Chronicles: A recipe for every occasion

Corona Chronicles: Time to nail it

Corona Chronicles: Ready to throw an ‘end-of-Skype-meetings’ party at the end of lockdown

Corona Chronicles: Raise the bar

Corona Chronicles: Banana bread: The apparent law of lockdown and other baking stories

Corona Chronicles: Chained to the washing machine

Corona Chronicles: A whole lot of sole in Tracy Schloesser’s wardrobe

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