Making the world make sense
Childhood is a time of fairy tales, magic, monsters and dragons. It’s a time where a child’s make believe can appear real and children may struggle to separate fiction from reality. This is completely normal, especially in the pre-school years. We often hear how little girls believe that they are princesses and we encourage and embrace this fantasy of theirs by buying them the princess costumes, crowns and jewels. Little boys fantasize about being Spiderman or Batman and here too, we encourage it and find joy in seeing them dress up in their little red or black masks with their capes flapping in the wind behind them as they run around the garden.
We should never not allow our children to partake in the world of fantasy and make believe. It provides an opportunity for them to dream, develop their imaginations and express and experience all forms of emotions. Where else can one experience the joy of saving people from evil and being the hero. Where else can one dream of creating a machine that can transport us into other dimensions. Some of the most creative, inspiring and revolutionary innovations and ideas of our times started somewhere in childhood.
But, like everything in life there are always two sides to the coin. A positive side and a negative one. The world of make believe is no different. Not only does one encounter the beautiful princess but also the wicked witch, the superhero and the evil villain as well. We want our children to enjoy the positives of make believe, but how do we ensure that they don’t become consumed by the negative side? It is a fine balance and requires, us as the adults to be vigilant in what we allow them to watch and what we don’t. Until at least they reach the age where they no longer just live in the literal world but can make sense of a figurative world on their own.
So, what can one do in the meantime? Firstly, be aware of their age and what they are being exposed to. For example, 2-3-year olds shouldn’t really be going to the movies no matter how age appropriate the movie (adhere to age restrictions or parental guidance). Everything is bigger, louder and darker in a movie house even the chairs. It makes the imaginary world tower above them, making them feel powerless. Just imagine how big the image of a witch may appear and how threatening she may sound.
Children experience the world through their senses more so than we do. We need to make sure we can control their environment and make it a safe place. Don’t darken rooms, ensure that they can be bigger than whatever it is they are watching. Watching a movie at home allows them to become bigger than the TV if need be by standing up, holding the remote (they have “the power” to make the image disappear). If reading bedtime stories to little ones don’t use too much expression yet as they will pick up on tone and how suddenly Daddy’s voice sounds scary, only start doing this from about 4 years old. Always make sure that you can see their facial expressions as this will give an indication of how they are feeling. Talk about what they have watched or read and discuss both the positive and negative sides but emphasising the positive.
If they start to become fearful about a character they have seen, try and use the character as a metaphor to something they or you have overcome in the day to day life. “That bad witch was just like the ugly weeds in mommy’s garden hey? They wouldn’t go away, they were making everything ugly. How did mommy make those weeds go away?”, draw them back to reality and demonstrate how obstacles, fears and worries were overcome. By doing this you can diminish the enormity of the negative to an extent.
The more present we are with our children the more we become aware of their natures and what may or may not have a negative effect on them. But when they are still so young it our role as parents to decide what we allow into their worlds of make believe and what we don’t. We are still the “door keepers” to these distant lands and if we pass that responsibility on to someone or something else, who knows what Goblins may slip through.
Distributed on behalf of Trinityhouse Pre-Primary Randpark Ridge,
By Christelle Wolmarans, Tel: 011 676 8000, Email: cwolmarans@advtech.co.za
