I chanced upon a visit to Port St Johns many years ago, with the financial backing of the M-Net channel, where I worked with a local Afrikaner aspirant screenwriter, Franco Human.
We travelled in Franco’s ol’ Peugot 404, exchanging the steering wheel all the way from Johannesburg, through the Natal Midlands.
On arrival at Port St Johns, Franco swerved the vehicle into a dirt road heading for a lovely lagoon, partly covered by a carpet of mangroves.
We unloaded our luggage from the boot of the car, and then I followed Franco deeper into the mangrove swamps.
The terrain was — for me, the city slicker — rather slippery and uncomfortable.
Franco, the coastal oke, nudged me along, until we stopped next to a fisherman’s canoe.
Franco removed his shoes and then his socks. I nervously followed suit.
Naturally, Franco took control of the oars and there we were paddling our way downstream to his log cabin along the banks of the lagoon.
I came to realise Franco was one among many eccentrics on the coastline, such as the okes we visited, who tried very hard to live off the land in terms of growing vegetables and a fowl run.
My journalism colleague, Max du Preez, has published a gripping self-portrait with the title “Pale Native”, a chronicle of, among others, the adventures of yesteryear’s South African Defence Force in Angola.
A bloody war was at the time raging between the MPLA of Augustino Neto, and UNITA, which was led by the bushy-bearded Jonas Savimbi.
Du Preez writes sarcastically how “Die Groot Krokodil”, PW Botha, and his right-hand man, General Magnus Malan, continued to deny the presence of SADF manpower and artillery in Angola.
Back to Franco Human — he of the mangrove swamps — the man told a story that made both of us laugh until there were tears in our eyes.
Franco and fellow troopies from the SADF happened to be concealed under tree branches and camouflage in Angola, when Malan arrived by helicopter to wish the boys a Merry Christmas.
The SADF strongman was then flown away, leaving Franco and his fellow troopies right inside Angola.
That evening during prime time news, Franco and them pressed their ears to the transistor, to hear Malan declare: “There is not a single soldier from the SADF in Angola …”
Franco says an angry troopie grabbed a rifle, spraying gunfire all over the place, before charging: “Hy moenie k…k praat nie!”
