If you want your life to change from being a single person, to being in a relationship or happily married, then you need to do something different now while you are still single.
A lot of people complaining about their singleness; but when you ask them what they have been doing to fix it, they say things like:
“All the good men are taken……men are dogs”
“‘He who finds a wife finds obtain favour…’ – He must find me!”
“Women are too expensive…..too emotional”
“I am waiting for Mr or Mrs Right”
“I am waiting on the Lord for my Boaz”
It is time you change your attitude.
In order for you to succeed, you have to take changing your attitude very seriously in order to see change. If you are lonely and tired of being single, I want you to be in a relationship in 2014. If you are already in a relationship, I want you to be married in 2014.
Check out our list of 10 Ways to Get Out of Singleness in 2014:
1. Pray – Pray and ask God to give you wisdom to recognise the right person for the right relationship. Choose to make 2014 your year of effective and fervent prayer because prayer will give you the road map out of singleness. Stay connected to God and committed to church!
2. Work on Your Communication Skills – Find tools that can help you to specifically work on your communication skills. As a single person wanting a relationship, you shouldn’t be communicating like a person who doesn’t want one. People are different and you must learn to communicate better with people with different personalities.
3. Change Your Way of Thinking – Sometimes a change in your singleness starts with a change in your way of thinking. If you are always looking at the negative, and never seeing any positives, then it’s time to change your way of thinking. Try focusing on the positive things that you and potential dates have. You might find that things are not ALL as bad as they seem and that your problems are not too big to be resolved.
4. Read a Book – Every month, read at least one book about being single, and also about being in a relationship. There are many good books out there to address any singleness related question/issue that you might have. They will give some ideas on how to deal with life as a single person and strategies for relationships.
5. Start or join a small Singles Group – Get together with a few other single friends and meet monthly. Discuss singleness issues, bond, and hold each other accountable. You’ll find this is so much fun and also very enriching.
6. Make Some Changes on Your Own – If you are in a relationship already, don’t wait on the other person to make changes first. Sometimes the changes have to start with you. And your positive changes may just be what is needed to move your relationship forward.
7. Find a Trusted Friend/Mentor to talk to regularly – Talk to a friend who will be open about their challenges and victories. If you’re single, you should find a person who is living their life in a way that you admire. But you also need to talk to someone who has a marriage you’d like to emulate.
8. Find a Relationship Coach – Talk to me, as a dating and relationship coach I am here to help you. A trusted relationship coach or mentor can give you good advice and will tell you the truth. It is great to seek advice from experts and it is less expensive than spending years of your life in unnecessary misery.
9. Go to a Singles Conference – Make a commitment to go at least once a year. This will provide you with tools on how you can better yourself as a single person getting ready for a relationship and marriage. It will give you strategies on how to deal with issues that affect Singles.
10. Stay Away from Negative People – Now is not the time to hang around single, in relationship and married people who
i. Are negative about dating and relationships;
ii. Look down on single people as there’s something wrong with them;
iii. Don’t like your choice of dates
iv. Are constantly giving you bad advice and tell you to do things you know are not right;
v. Don’t draw you close to your faith in Jesus.
Cut down on the list of such people in your life. You may need to un-friend some of your friends if you want a stable and fulfilling relationship and marriage.
A lot of these points are to help you to concentrate on yourself first, to grow yourself. Follow these and you most likely won’t miss the relationship or marriage train in 2014!
Are there any other ways I didn’t mention? What advice and tips have worked for you or your friends?
