The 90-second rule of emotional intelligence
"We’ve all had the experience of a situation or a person setting us off."
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” – Dale Carnegie
With my mechanical engineering background, I’ve always been very curious about the science of things. Without a doubt, this led me to neuroscience, thus the science and mechanics of the brain and what really makes it tick.
Our brains are swimming in neurochemicals. These chemicals have a huge influence on our thoughts, behaviour and actions. When you feel happy or motivated, for example, happy neurochemicals like dopamine is released to help your thinking brain to function effectively.
On the other hand, when you are feeling angry and stressed, hormones like cortisol is released into your bloodstream, causing your heart to beat faster, along with a sudden increase in blood pressure, sweating, suspension of the digestive system and immune system. This has a detrimental effect on a person’s well-being over time.
One of the major breakthroughs in neuroscience using fMRI scans was the 90-second rule, a critical technique for self-control. According to Harvard brain scientist Dr Jill Bolte Taylor, “Ninety seconds is all it takes to identify an emotion and allow it to dissipate while you simply notice it. When you’re stressed, pausing 90 seconds and labelling what you’re feeling (e.g. I’m getting angry), tamps down activity in the amygdala.”
We’ve all had the experience of a situation or a person setting us off. A rude comment, bad news, something breaks us down, an unexpected inconvenience, and we lose our temper. It’s not because we have bad luck or life has a vendetta against us.
Why then? When someone or something sets us off, it’s because we don’t possess the impulse control or we’re not aware of another way to respond to the upsetting situation.
