What’s your parenting style?

Whether you’re strict, laid-back, anxious, overly protective, or even aloof, your parenting style can hugely influence your child’s life. While no one hat fits all, researchers have identified four main types of parenting styles. Which one – if any – are you?

Uninvolved parenting

The uninvolved parent may love their child but struggle to show affection, likely because they themselves weren’t shown affection by their own parents growing up. Uninvolved parents sometimes lack knowledge about child development. And sometimes, they’re simply overwhelmed with other problems, like work, paying bills, and managing a household. Children with uninvolved parents are likely to struggle with self-esteem issues. 

Authoritarian parenting

My way or the highway…there is zero-tolerance for non-compliance when it comes to the authoritarian parent and commonly the emphasis is on what the child has done wrong, rather than on what they have done right. This parenting style requires that the parent is in control all the time. On the positive side, parents who fall into this style of parenting use positive discipline strategies to reinforce good behavior, like praise and reward systems. Researchers have found kids who have authoritative parents are most likely to become responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions.

Permissive parenting

Do you find yourself giving in to your child’s demands every time? Do you ignore unacceptable behaviour rather than confront it? The permissive parenting style lies on the opposite side of the scale from the authoritarian parent. Often these parents suffered under the rule of authoritarian parents and so opt for a parenting style that is as far removed from their own experience as possible. This style of parenting is characterised by few if any rules and boundaries. Often the parents need to be liked by the child, which they believe necessitates not imposing limitations on behaviour. Kids who grow up with permissive parents are more likely to struggle academically. The good news is that permissive parents are mostly loving and warm and are commonly very involved in their children’s lives. 

Democratic parent

The democratic parent falls between the authoritarian and permissive parent. Rules are set, but negotiation occurs with the child as to why the rule is being made, and appropriate consequences may be discussed if the rule is broken. Unlike an authoritarian parent, the democratic parent makes few rules but expects them to be obeyed. Affection and love are expressed frequently and the child’s needs, where appropriate, are met. Should the need for discipline arise, the child would be made aware as to why she is being disciplined. 

Good to know

Sometimes parents don’t fit into just one category, so don’t despair if there are times or areas where you tend to be permissive and other times when you’re more authoritative.