CANCER 21 JUNE – 22 JULY
Your clothes will be back in style any day now, Cancer… Time to jack it up! You have to put yourself out there if you want to move on in your job, at which you are very good. You just need to get your enthusiasm back and get on with it. If you’re not too keen on your present job, keep your eyes peeled – there’s something on the horizon that could change your financial position quite dramatically.
LEO 23 JULY – 22 AUG
Travel is starred strongly at the moment. You need to get to a place where you can be spiritually inspired and become fulfilled. There is special work waiting for you – no fortune involved, but exactly what you need to be doing. Might just help to mute that irritating roar of yours that tends to make normal people run – in the opposite direction. You have a style all your own. Hope its not catching.
VIRGO 23 AUG – 22 SEP
Looks like you’re a bit tired of folding, measuring, arranging for a change. You need to find some kind of FUN! Know this word? Come on V, you can do this if you put your mind to it. Friends and family will, for some unknown reason, be glad to hear from you. Stuff the old brains back in for now and get on with some socializing. You might learn something interesting for a change. Wow!
LIBRA 23 SEP – 22 OCT
How can such a humongous head hold such a puny brain? You’re so busy calculating money, job, future, that you’re MISSING THE POINT! You have true love just dying to overwhelm you (man oh man! Why?) and yet, you keep looking at how to organise everything, driving him/her further and further away. Could you relax and enjoy for once? Do you even have a clue how to do this?
SCORPIO 23 OCT – 21 NOV
There’s someone that really loves and respects you (silly person!), and it’s time you paid attention to this. This person will be with you, no matter what life flings at you, so wake up! Be NICE! (what am I saying?). Money matters will take care of themselves and an imminent move will do the same. Take some time to like yourself again and stop stinging everyone left and right. Please.
SAGITTARIUS 22 NOV – 21 DEC
You’re so feeble at the moment, you couldn’t beat an egg! You know you have to make that decision and make it fast! Are you going to talk to anyone about it? Or are you going to keep playing Strong and Silent? So endearing… Thinking about investing in property? Do your homework first and don’t get carried away thinking you’re Rich and Famous, because you’re not. Ask your partner.
CAPRICORN 22 DEC – 19 JAN
The full moon suddenly makes you look at things differently and you may just end up being quite nice to people for a change, especially your partner who is in sore need of a bit of peace. Better you make that decision about whether you want true love or not – it’s getting tiring, not to mention Jolly Stupid. Be sensible just for once and take what you KNOW you want. Okaaay…???
AQUARIUS 20 JAN – 18 FEB
Haven’t the courts outlawed cruel and unusual punishment? You obviously are not aware of this, because MAN, are you punishing yourself like mad! Just make a decision or two about where your job is going and then get on with it. You may be madly in love, but do try and not drive the Object of Your Desire to throwing him/herself off a cliff by your smothering and Control Impulses.
PISCES 19 FEB – 20 MARCH
Time for Romance, Pisky! Can you still spell it? Looks like you’ve forgotten what it’s all about. Don’t you think its time to clean up a bit romantically? And don’t tell us you did but your evil twin messed it up again, it’s just called Laziness. We heard you talked to your plants and they died of boredom… Take another look at your job – there’s something fabulous that you’re missing.
ARIES 21 MARCH – 19 APRIL
How many times do I have to tell you this? (Don’t stop now – you’re getting close to the record!) Get the quick-as-lightning brain into gear. You can’t do EVERYTHING, no matter how Fast and Fabulous you think you are. Make lists, sort out the most important ideas, (hopefully the ones that make the most money) and then apply yourself. You really need to do this now, at a trot.
TAURUS 20 APRIL – 20 MAY
Decisions, decisions – when will they ever end? Never for you, Taurus. Talk to someone who understands how your brain (?) works and then choose carefully. You know you have to make changes in your life, most of all your job. You’re very good at doing more than one thing at a time, you just need organisation. Keep the old horns sheathed for the moment, use negotiating skills.
GEMINI 21 MAY – 20 JUNE
“I’m nobody’s fool.” Well, maybe someone will adopt you… Time to take stock of family and actually LISTEN to them for a change. Put on your sympathetic face and take note of what they are NOT saying. You may learn something about yourself that could put you on a new path of understanding – not only of yourself, but how normal people reason. You really have no clue.
