How to visit a loved one with Alzheimer’s

If you’re visiting someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia, use these tips to guide you so that you both have a positive experience.

Plan your visits strategically
Limit visitors to one or two people at a time. Too many people can be overwhelming.
Schedule visits for the time of day when your older adult is usually at their best.
Minimise distractions by keeping the environment calm and quiet. Turn off the TV or loud music and ask any non-visitors to go to another room.
Send this list to your visitors ahead of time so they’ll have time to absorb the information.

Keep your tone and body language friendly and positive.
Don’t speak too loudly.
Make eye contact and stay at their eye level.
Introduce yourself even if you’re convinced they know you. “Hi Grandma, I’m Joe, your grandson.”
Speak slowly and in short sentences with only one idea per sentence. For example: “What a beautiful day. The sunshine is nice, isn’t it?”
Let them take their time; don’t rush the conversation.
Use open-ended questions with no right or wrong answers.
Sit together in silence; they may enjoy that just as much as talking.
Allow them to express sadness, fear, or anger.
Go with the flow of the conversation even if they talk about things that aren’t true or don’t make sense; you need to enter their reality.
Share and discuss memories of the past as they’re more likely to remember things from long ago.
Come prepared with an activity, like something to read out loud, a photo album to look at, or some music to listen to.
Covid allowing, give gentle touches and hugs.

Say “do you remember?”
If they say something that’s not correct, just let it go and don’t argue.
Don’t point out mistakes; it just makes them feel bad and doesn’t help the conversation.
Many people have moments of clarity so don’t assume they remember anything.
If something means or nasty is said, try not to take it personally; the disease can twist their words or make them react badly out of confusion, frustration, fear, or anger.
Talk down to them; they aren’t children and you should show the proper respect.
Don’t talk about them with others as if they’re not there.