How to discuss a thrifty Christmas with your kids

Celebrations will be scaled down this year. A new study has found that almost six out of 10 South Africans are planning to spend 33% less on average this festive season. In addition, a quarter will cut their usual holiday budget by as much as half. The findings were part of a survey by the global comparison platform Finder.com.

“Downscaling on the traditional celebration children are expecting this year is bound to create anxiety among parents,”  says Sharon Moller, Financial Planning Coach at Old Mutual. “Talking about why there is less money this year can trigger our deeply ingrained fears of not having enough and not being able to give our loved ones what they want.”

Moller suggests parents address the issue head-on and have simple, frank, and age-appropriate conversations with their kids to reduce this stress.

“Children are like sponges and can absorb our unspoken fears and anxieties about money.  It’s for this reason that it is always better to have these conversations, no matter how uncomfortable it might feel,” says Moller. “Our children have a very primal need to be seen and understood for who they truly are. By spending time over the festive season deepening our conversations and relationships with them, we can meet this vital need and share lessons that will last a lifetime – long after they’ve forgotten the gifts they received over December.”

Moller offers the following tips for conversations with kids about a more thrifty Christmas:

Accept that anxiety is normal

It’s perfectly okay to admit to your children that you are feeling anxious, provided you take responsibility for your own emotions rather than making them feel they’re to blame. Doing this won’t break your children. On the contrary, it will build a connection and trust between you and teach them emotional awareness, too.

Focus on the positives

Share in a way that promotes resilience – a sense that this too shall pass – and awareness of others’ experiences. We are living through a global trauma rather than a personal setback. And as difficult as it is, there are big life lessons to learn about the world and ourselves.

Teach your children compassion

Show your children that caring for others is a responsibility – and a great joy. What’s more, it needn’t mean giving money or things. Spending time with the elderly or children in need is a valuable lesson in compassion, connectedness, and purpose.

The art of saving

In the age of instant gratification, learning by lived experience what it means to save for something they really want will give your children an understanding of the value of money. Open a bank account for your child and allow them to work for some pocket money, even if it’s just R20 a month.

Experience over monetary value

Make family gift vouchers that your children can cash in with you and with each other for experiences – rather than things – they’d love to have: baking cupcakes, watching a movie together, camping in the back yard, playing board games, or going to the beach. Find the things they love to do and give of your time rather than in the form of expensive gifts.

Find a greater purpose

If your children express jealousy of others or a sense of deprivation, help them uncover the meaning behind their desires. It’s human to want what we don’t have, but it’s also an opportunity to have conversations that get right to the heart of some of life’s biggest questions. Why do we want what we want? How would having those things help us be who we want to be or to follow our purpose?