AN interesting snippet from the Canadian cousins, apropos previous comments about the Mandela Movie:
“The Mandela movie clearly needed the financial assistance. I see that its total box office take in the USA since release there on 29 November is $4.9 million – less than the NEF’s contribution. Despite the movie being advertised incessantly on CNN etc, Iron Man 3 by comparison took in $409 million – which, in itself, is a commentary on the average IQ in the USA).
I see Oprah Winfrey has come to the rescue by buying the rights for an undisclosed sum.
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It is reported in the Cape Town papers that SANRAL seems to be experiencing serious administrative problems: A Cape Town man, who has not been to Gauteng for 18 months, has just received an e-toll summons. It seems that about 10% of Gauteng number plates are false.
What a can of worms they have opened for themselves!
* * *
A nursery school teacher on the Cape Flats was telling her class the story of the three little pigs.
She came to the part of the story where fthe irst pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.
She read: “And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: ‘Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'”
The teacher paused, then asked the class: “And what do you think the man said?”
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly: “I think the man would have said, ‘Well, f%#^ me!! A talking pig!'”
(Thanks Balt V)
* * *
Some really sharp come-backs:
JFK’S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60s when De Gaulle decided to pull out of NATO. De Gaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.
Rusk responded: “Does that include those who are buried here?”
You could have heard a pin drop.
There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying: “Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?”
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: “Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3 000 people three meals a day.
“They can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?”
You could have heard a pin drop.
A Royal Navy admiral was attending a naval conference that included admirals from the US, English, Canadian, Australian and French navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries.
Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinksbut a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, the English learn only English.
He then asked: “Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?”
Without hesitating, the British admiral replied: “Maybe it’s because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, South Africans and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German.”
You could have heard a pin drop.
Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.
“You have been to France before, monsieur?” the customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr Whiting admitted he had been to France previously.
“Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.”
The Englishman said: “The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.”
“Impossible. You English always have to show your passports on arrival in France!”
The English senior gave the Frenchman a long, hard look. Then he quietly explained: ”Well, when I came ashore at Gold Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn’t find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to.”
You could have heard a pin drop.
(Thanks KG)
