A small rural town in South Africa twinned with a similar town in Spain.
The mayor of the SA town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor, he wondered how he could afford such a house.
The Spaniard said: “You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, this house could be built.”
The following year the Spaniard visited the SA town. He was simply amazed at the SA mayor’s house, gold taps, marble floors, it was marvellous.
When he asked how this could be afforded, the SA mayor said: “You see that bridge over there?”
The Spaniard replied: No. I don’t see any bridge.”
Now why does that sound familiar?
* * *
Some wise words:
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle (Winston Churchill)
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul (George Bernard Shaw)
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys (PJ O’Rourke)
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free! (PJ O’Rourke)
The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other (Ronald Reagan)
What this country needs are more unemployed politicians (Satre)
Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner (James Bovard Langley)
* * *
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.
“May I see the new baby?” I asked.
“Not yet. I’ll make coffeeand we can visit for a while first.”
Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, “May I see the new baby now?”
“No, not yet,” she said. Another few minutes elapsed.
I asked again, “May I see the baby now?”
”No, not yet,” replied my friend.
Growing very impatient, I asked, “Well, when can I see the baby?”
“When he cries!” she told me.
“Why do I have to wait until he cries?”
“Because I forgot where I put him, OK?”
Thanks MGK
* * *
I bought my Blackberry, under duress from my family. My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.
I am not ready to live like this. I now keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library.
I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth (it’s red) phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Woollies talking to my wifeand everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me.
I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
The GPS looked pretty smart on my dash boardbut the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying person. Every two minutes, she would sarcastically say, “re-calc-u-lating” and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streetsand while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for four yearsbut I still haven’t figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered,
“No, but I do fart.”
We senior citizens don’t need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.
(Thanks BJ)
