THIS one is a bit dated but still worth repeating.
Have you heard what music was played at the Gupta wedding?
It was “Here comes the bribe. . . ”
(Thanks Balt)
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You don’t have to be an engineer to appreciate this story.
A toothpaste factory had a problem. They sometimes shipped empty boxes without the tube inside. This challenged their perceived quality with the buyers and distributors.
Understanding how important the relationship with them was, the CEO of the company assembled his top people. They decided to hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem.
The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, and third-parties selected.
Six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution – on time, on budget, and high quality. Everyone in the project was pleased.
They solved the problem by using a high-tech precision scale that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box weighed less than it should. The line would stop, someone would walk over, remove the defective box, and then press another button to re-start the line. As a result of the new package monitoring process, no empty boxes were being shipped out of the factory.
With no more customer complaints, the CEO felt the $8 million was well spent. He then reviewed the line statistics report and discovered the number of empty boxes picked up by the scale in the first week was consistent with projections, however, the next three weeks were zero.
The estimated rate should have been at least a dozen boxes a day. He had the engineers check the equipment, they verified the report as accurate. Puzzled, the CEO travelled down to the factory, viewed the part of the line where the precision scale was installed, and observed just ahead of the new $8 million dollar solution sat a $20 desk fan blowing the empty boxes off the belt and into a bin.
He asked the line supervisor what that was about.
“Oh, that,” the supervisor replied. Bert, the kid from maintenance, put it there because he was tired of walking over, removing the box and re-starting the line every time the bell rang.
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A cautionary tale for the people of Ekurhuleni.
Morris, a black-and-white kitten with orange eyes, is running for mayor of Xalapa in eastern Mexico with the campaign slogan, “Tired of Voting for Rats? Vote for a Cat”.
And he is attracting tens of thousands of politician-weary, two-legged supporters on social media.
“He sleeps almost all day and does nothing, and that fits the profile of a politician,” said 35-year-old office worker Sergio Chamorro, who adopted the 10-month-old feline last year.
Put forth as a candidate by Chamorro and a group of friends after they became disillusioned with the empty promises of politicians, Morris’ candidacy has resonated across Mexico, where citizens frustrated with human candidates are nominating their pets and farm animals to run in 7 July elections being held in 14 states.
ANC, are you listening?
(Thanks John Robb)
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What is new?
“The budget should be balanced, the treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed, lest Rome will become bankrupt. People must again learn to work instead of living on public assistance.”
Cicero, 55 BC.
(Thanks Ingrid)
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Cool message by a wife: Dear mother-in-law, don’t teach me how to handle my children, I’m living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement.”
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Lettie’s dishwasher broke, so she called in a repairman.
Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman:
“I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll send you a cheque. And, oh, by the way, don’t worry about my dog Spike. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!”
When the repairman arrived at Lettie’s flat the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching him go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant screeching and swearing . Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled: “Shut up, you stupid.”
To which the parrot replied: “Get him Spike!”
(Thanks BJ)
