So what now? This is a feeling that you are getting on the streets these days.
The Zuma period ended, the Rand strengthened, price for fuel dropped, businesses were looking forward to a golden period of recovery and the masses were a bit happier.
Fast forward to October 2018 and it feels like all the nightmares conjured up by this spooky time of the year is upon us.
The euphoria is gone, and we are grasping at reality which seems more like the madness found in The Shining. For the month of October, we will look at how what is happening in South Africa sort of resembles the trick or treat tradition as practised during Halloween.
For now, I will keep you in suspense before I weave a sordid tale of ghouls and monsters, because they do exist – they walk our streets in broad daylight frightening us to death with creepy stories of land expropriation.
So while the darkness of our times befall us in the guise of economic woes and foolish dreams of hope, let us have a look at the Halloween tradition.
After all, this is that time of the year that every horror movie that has been on television 50 times is once again dusted off to another showing.
Halloween is all around us, and honestly, we do not need people in spooky masks or watch another instalment of the Halloween movie franchise to scare us. Visiting the petrol station gives me the chills enough.
I have thought of writing Stephen King a letter to visit our shores to spend a day at a petrol station – I’m sure he will depart with dark tales of fear and torment watching South Africans scream in terror at the pumps.
But let us return to Halloween, which is that time of the year when children dress up as ghosts, or monsters or any other creature (have we got a mask yet of Zuma or a Gupta – no alterations needed?), knocking on doors in the hope to extort candy which will exacerbate tooth decay.
In South Africa, this tradition is not so big and it is certainly not a wise idea to send your children alone to people’s homes. If you do, make sure they are accompanied with at least 20 bodyguards who have served in the special forces and who has studied in the ways of Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris (preferably both).
Or just spend money and buy a Terminator machine to protect them. Up to you, depending on your fuel bill a month.
Trick or treat simply cannot work in our lovely country of violence, mayhem and anarchy. After all, they will need to get past the security – thus the 10m outer gate, substation powered electric fencing, laser sensors, and the 20 ravenous dogs (or are people these days rather buying wolves?).
Chances are good that the child will trigger some kind of alarm as if all hell has broken loose, causing the security company to come screaming around the corner, and the entire community will send WhatsApp messages to warn of the crazy kids.
Chances are also good they will encounter a watchdog, resembling Stephen King’s Cujo, slobbering at the mouth for the dog has been set to kill mode ever since the national crime stats have been released.
I’m sure dogs these days are just as paranoid as the owners, since dog poisonings are still rife. So make no mistake, the glint in a dog’s eye is maybe not a friendly gesture, but rather speaks of dangerous suspicion.
By the time that the poor child cowers behind a bush or has scrambled up a tree, costume left town in the driveway, the homeowner has already called the police (after having to repeatedly give his address to the operator) or has fetched a Rambo-looking shotgun.
Maybe the child will not be dealing with all of these security issues at all, considering all the power outages in Boksburg, so it would rather be a tale of ‘welcome darkness my old friend’.
On the other hand, maybe it is the child who is not safe at all, which is the most likely scenario, considering how we live in times of rampant human trafficking, while children are being abused and left traumatised it seems around every corner.
So rather keep your children at home, but not locked up, because that is also happening in this country and the intentions are nothing good or positive.
Did you know the traditions of Halloween has its origins in medieval Europe? Let us have some fun and explore some theories mixed with truth.
It seems Halloween derives from the three-day Celtic festival Samhain. The Celts believed the dead would return on earth at the end of the harvest season (October. 31) and decided to honour them.
The villagers disguised themselves in costumes made of animal skins to drive away phantom visitors.
The first appearance of trick-or-treating had people dressing up in exchange for food and drinks which was known as “mumming” in the Middle Ages.
However, in the 9th century, the term changed to “souling” for All Souls’ Day, which was about going from door to door to solicit gifts of food in return for prayers for the dead.
The tradition has altered so that it is now children, usually dressed in disguise, who go about asking for gifts around the beginning of November.
The term “guising” became popular in Ireland and Scotland in the 16th century. Young people had to perform a song, recite a poem, tell a joke or other ‘tricks’ in order to receive their treats. But overall, many of these exchanges were paying homage to the dead. So essentially, the people in the past had to work for free food and gifts!
In the 9th century, people were asking for food, money and ale (which will also not work considering SA’s sin tax and our rampant abuse of substances like alcohol).
While the tradition of receiving pastries and coins moved to the United States, it wasn’t until the 1950s that candy became more popular.
Personally, if anyone does dare to go trick or treating in this country, knowing full well it may end in disaster, rather leave the requests for candy, just ask for petrol.
Watch this space when next time we will connect Halloween with our politics and our economy, which will leave us all tossing and turning as sleep slips into the night along with the ghosts of a rejuvenated Rand.
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