Tough Love chairperson explains how parent abuse affects victims
Children as young as eight abuse their parents, but it appears more prevalent during adolescence and in young adults
Society is familiar with the term child abuse. However, it comes as a pinching shock when you hear that a child is abusing their parents.
According to Chantal Grotto of Tough Love, an organisation that aims to bring a loving solution for families that are being torn apart by unacceptable behaviour, like abuse, bullying, mental illness, parent abuse is the control that the teen or young adult wants to have over their parent.
“They control manipulate and try to intimidate. This abuse is ongoing and not on an occasional or one-time basis. Parents who are abused have one thing in common – despair. Abused parents are parents who have lost the ability to parent their teens or young adults and they need support to regain a leadership role in their families,” said Grotto.
Grotto highlighted that parent abuse is any act of a teen or young adult that is intended to cause physical, emotional or financial damage to gain power and control over a parent.
She said the abuse usually begins verbally and emotionally and then may become physical.
“A recent Canadian census showed that 42.3 per cent of children aged 20-29 live with their parents. An adult child living with their parents can put a lot of stress on family relationships and in some cases play a role in parent abuse, especially when there are drug or alcohol addictions and financial problems,” said Grotto.
The chairperson of Tough Love said parent abuse crosses all social, cultural and economic lines – poor and rich, educated and not.
Women who are single parents are often the targets of abuse and mothers are more often and more severely abused than single fathers.
“This may be because women continue to be the primary caregivers in most families and often have closer emotional and physical connections to their children. Children as young as eight or nine abuse their parents, but it appears more prevalent during adolescence and in young adults (under 26 years of age). Senior parents are often abused by their adult children. This is considered older person abuse or elder abuse,” she said.
If you are need of help, you may contact toughlovemarketingsa@gmail.com, call 061 548 3862 or visit www.touhglove.org.za
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