Don’t get swindled #TinderSwindlerDurbanEdition
The latest Netflix hit series has taught many to be more cautious online. Here are some shocking yet inspiring accounts from Tinder users in Durban.
BY now most people would have watched Netflix’s breakthrough documentary, The Tinder Swindler. There are memes, videos, and all kinds spin-offs from the show which highlights online scammers.
The show was released on February 2 and in just two weeks has garnered mass attention.
The Berea Mail spoke with four Tinder users who shared their experiences on the popular app. While some have found true love, a recurring theme is that there are always scammers lurking in the shadows.
Terri’s story
Durban based Terri Marais (20), spoke about the good, the bad and the ugly sides of online dating apps. The environmental science student describes her dating experience on the app as ‘a roller-coaster’ of emotions. Terri downloaded the app in March of 2021, “This was when we were experiencing a second wave of Covid so I thought it would be fun to find another means of dating.”
She said Tinder users’ needs were varied from person to person. Some were scoping the field for polyamorous relationships, or casual relationships. “Some just wanted to be friends and others wanted marriage.”
However, no sooner had she joined that scammers reared their ugly heads. She matched with someone who she had no romantic feelings for, but was still interested in pursuing a friendship. “We matched and proceeded to communicate on Tinder. The conversation was going really well. I recall having great conversations with this person and then the next day I was sent a website link. I found it very suspicious so I asked this person what was the link for and I was told that it was a link for a fundraiser in support of the LGBTQ+ community,” she said.
She was hesitant at first, but eventually clicked on the link, “The website seemed quite reputable and was asking for R10. The money would be going towards Queer victims who experience homophobic attacks on online dating sites so I was super invested. I began putting in my financial details and I didn’t even get halfway through when I got a notification from my bank that R600 was drawn out of my account!”
Within minutes the scammer disappeared and they were ‘unmatched’.
Lloyd’s Story
Pinetown resident Lloyd Mackenzie (32) found love when he was least expecting it. Lloyd downloaded the app just after Christmas last year and after matching with potentially suitable partners and going on a few dates he said he just wasn’t finding someone who he connected with.
The gym fanatic said he was ready to give up on Tinder altogether. That was until he came across his current partner. “We hit it off straight away, most of the conversations I had been having were full of small-talk and very repetitive, but with him, it was an easy-flowing conversation that was fun and interactive, with lots of banter.” The couple first met on January 4 and Lloyd describes their in-person chemistry as ‘full of sparks and excitement’ and ‘light and humorous’. The two have been together ever since and Lloyd describes the relationship as blissful and easy.
ALSO READ: WATCH: Dating apps like Tinder & Grindr spread personal details, says study
Anonymous Story
Tinder can also be a place for those who have taken a break from the dating scene to get back out there. A Durban North resident and mother of two joined the platform over three years. “My opinion of online dating was that it was the last resort, it’s where you go when you have no other options! But I thought, ‘let me just check it out, what do I have to lose?’”
Putting her anxiety aside, she joined and came across some unsavoury characters. Although she matched with someone who she said she found attractive Anonymous remained wary, “I came across his profile and he was good looking, but I had this niggly feeling about him. So I ran his image through Google Image Search. The picture popped up as some actor, who is not very well-known, he was a catfish.”
She immediately sent him a screenshot of the evidence with the caption, ‘Busted’, to which he replied with a picture that she described as ‘unsavoury and inappropriate’.
A few years later she came across the man who she has been with for almost three years, “The first thing that stood out for me was that he didn’t pressure me to go over to WhatsApp, which is something that’s very common, especially with fraudsters.” Today the couple is still going strong, “We’re looking for property together, planning our future and we’re really lucky to have found each other.” Their relationship is an ongoing testimony that you can find love on Tinder.
Anonymous story 2
This grandmother of three took to Tinder to find a companion. Little did she know, she would be a scammer magnet! Choosing to remain anonymous, she shared with us some shocking stories. She joined the app in September 2021 and at first, she enjoyed having a world of possibilities at her fingertips. Then she noticed a pattern, “These scammers will start by calling you every single day and messaging you long, sweet messages. Then, the sob stories start and that’s how they pull in.”
The first scammer struck a few weeks into discussions. “We had been speaking and he would message me all the time and tell me what he was doing and where he was going, and then one day he told me that he’s stranded. He said he only banked with Barclays and couldn’t find a Barclays Bank and urgently needed money to get home. He asked me for R300 and when I said no his sweet demeanour fell away and he yelled all sorts of nasty things about how much he didn’t need me. Clearly he needed me if he needed my money! I blocked him immediately.”
This was not the last time Anonymous was confronted by an online trickster. A few months later she came across a handsome young man, who lived in the UK. He too was sweet in the beginning. Anonymous admitted that she enjoyed the conversations. That was until they planned to meet, “I had gone to Cape Town to visit my friend and when I told him, he insisted on coming to see me. At first, I was excited, but then he sent me his number, and it was a local number that was unlisted on True Caller. That struck me as odd, because I assumed it would have been newly registered.”
The Durban local then extended her trip to meet her Tinder fling, who claimed to be from London. On the day he was expected to arrive, she called the number for the first time, eager to hear the voice of the man she had been falling for, “I called him and immediately got a shock. The voice on the other side of the phone did have a foreign accent, but it wasn’t a British accent, he sounded like he may be from West Africa.” Their plans remained the same, “He calls me back and he’s speaking frantically telling me that he’s stranded at OR Tambo. He claimed he was at the boarding gate and his wallet had been stolen and he needed money urgently, he started crying and screaming and I didn’t say a word. I hung up and I blocked him.”
While Tinder might be the app that’s currently trending, the digital age has seen the emergence of a plethora of online dating apps. With dating becoming more digital online dating sites may be where the future of dating and relationships are heading. Love however is something that will remain consistent. Whether you are just starting out in the dating game, getting back into it, or deciding to leave it alone, remember to stay safe and swipe safe.
The new Netflix binge series has sparked a stream of hilarious memes of social media: 
Online dating tips
– Establish your boundaries before joining.
– Do not lie on your profile.
– Be interactive and don’t rely on someone else to drive the conversation.
– Always send a good opening message; to pique their interest.
– Have a simple bio that includes your hobbies, interests and captures who you are.
– Use pictures that show off your personality. – Overall, the most important thing is to be yourself.
Online dating red flags
– Accounts that aren’t verified.
– Poor quality photos – blurry pictures that make the person unidentifiable.
– There is only one public photo appearing on their profile.
– They ask to switch to another social platform immediately.
– They send you spam links. – They neglect to list their age and/or location.
– Unsolicited pictures and sexual innuendos are brought into the conversation very early on.
* Notice: Coronavirus reporting at Caxton Local Media aims to combat fake news
Dear reader, As your local news provider, we have the duty of keeping you factually informed on Covid-19 developments. As you may have noticed, mis- and disinformation (also known as “fake news”) is circulating online. Caxton Local Media is determined to filter through the masses of information doing the rounds and to separate truth from untruth in order to keep you adequately informed. Local newsrooms follow a strict pre-publication fact-checking protocol. A national task team has been established to assist in bringing you credible news reports on Covid-19. Readers with any comments or queries may contact National Group Editor Irma Green (irma@caxton.co.za) or Legal Adviser Helene Eloff (helene@caxton.co.za).
