Tips to cope without seeing loved ones this festive season

COUNTRIES have once again tightened travel restrictions due to the recently detected Covid-19 variant, Omicron.

As a result, families that were hoping to see their loved ones had to cancel their trips and holiday plans, leaving them devastated and emotional.

Rakhi Beekrum, a counselling psychologist, said that disappointment, sadness, helplessness, anger or frustration are normal feelings.

She offered advice on how to process those feelings, should you find yourself in this situation.

“Many have been separated from family for months, or even years. Some have not met grandchildren for more than a year. It is normal to experience grief when faced with such ‘losses’. When we think of grief, we automatically associate it with the loss of a life. However, it’s normal to grieve ‘living losses’, such as cancelled plans or celebrations,” she said.

She said the Covid-19 pandemic and the uncertainty that it brought has been an extremely difficult time for many and that it was important to ‘feel your feelings’.

“Allow yourself to feel the sadness, disappointment, or other emotions. Validate your feelings. It’s difficult to move forward and make alternate plans unless we feel the unpleasant emotions,” said Beekrum.

“Have a good cry if you need to. Focus on the present and focus on what you can control. In any situation, there is always some part that is in our control. The longer we focus on what we cannot control, the worse we will feel.”

While Covid-19 has meant having to physically distance yourself from loved ones, it does not mean that emotional distancing must also be practiced.

“Look at ways you can feel emotionally closer while physically apart. A phone call, cooking the same meal via a video call, or even watching the same movie and chatting about it are options. Writing a letter or making something sentimental could also work,” said Beekrum.

She advised that if you feel safe, you could create a ‘bubble’ of safe people you interact with.

“Think about what boundaries will make you feel comfortable when socialising within this bubble. Ensure that those around you are respectful of your boundaries,” she said.

Beekrum stressed that you should also remind yourself that the situation is only temporary.

She added that being happy or enjoying something does not mean that you are disrespecting the person you are grieving over.

“We have learnt that the waves will come and, for now, our best option is to plan the best we can around these waves. So, if you are experiencing sadness, disappointment and grief, that is normal. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself. It is hard. At the same time, let’s try to also notice what is going right,” said Beekrum.