Abuse victim speaks out
“As we enter the 16 days of activism for no violence against women and children campaign, my advice is to believe victims of sexual violence,” she said.
“TO those who are being abused, there is still an opportunity to live again. It does not mean the end.”
Those are the heartfelt words of the 16-year-old Sarah Sithole (not her real name), who recently spoke to the Berea Mail about living in a shelter in Durban after she escaped an attempted rape.
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Sarah said she left home when she was 15 years old, after she was almost forced into an arranged marriage. The teenager, who nearly became a victim of statutory rape, was forced into the situation to pay off her family’s debt.
“The problem started at my home when my aunt arrived with a man who had been drinking. He was there to ‘visit’, but I sensed he was there for other reasons. I overheard him saying he wanted me because I don’t have a child. I heard him say things that I did not understand, and I realised that this person wanted something from me,” she recounted.
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The next morning, Sarah went looking for her sister and aunt at the stranger’s house.
“As soon as I arrived they told me to stay and wait for them while they went to the shop, but they never came back. The man, who I saw the night before, reappeared and attempted to grab me and pull me into his home. I tried to grab the door and, during the struggle, the door handle fell off. I managed to get out after a short struggle and ran back to my house. I frantically explained what had happened to my mother and sister. That he attempted to force himself onto me. That’s when my mother explained this same man had threatened to bury her because she owed him money. He said he would marry me in exchange for paying off the debt,” she said.
Sarah found herself at a crossroads and was eager to get out of the arranged marriage.
“I was anxious and cried for days after he revealed his plans. My family did try to talk to him, but he wouldn’t listen. He asked them to leave me at his house. I was scared and felt I was in a nightmare. I begged them not to leave me, but they did. I was stuck in the house for three days against my will, locked up. If it wasn’t for a stranger who, by coincidence, knocked on the door looking for my abductor, I wouldn’t have escaped,” she said.
Sarah eventually escaped and ran to the house of one of the elders in the community.
“She suggested I speak to the police, who eventually put me in touch with a social worker. At this stage I felt things were futile and couldn’t be in the same community anymore. I eventually ran away and was taken in by a shelter in Durban,” she said.
Sarah is currently studying through a programme at the shelter and said it has helped her to get back on her feet and begin to trust people again.
“If you are being abused by anyone, seek help. Without the shelter I wouldn’t be able to survive. I’ve been living in this shelter for almost a year now and I’ve found other survivors and women facing similar situations. We are like a sisterhood here and support and speak up for each other.
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