IT may be more than a decade since she lost sight of her dreams of becoming a body builder, but Nazreen Ally is ready to put the pain of her past firmly behind her and take on the International Federation of Bodybuilding South Africa (IFBB) UKZN’s Westville campus this Saturday.
The North Beach rape survivor reclaimed her passion for sport and fitness after a decade of her life was lost after she became a teen rape victim. She was just 13-years-old, when she was raped at gunpoint.
“At the time I was a big sports fanatic, participated in gymnastics, I was a>100m sprinter at school and was close to getting my provincial colours and had my sights set on becoming a body builder.”
Born in Cape Town, Nazreen came to Durban when she was fostered and later adopted by her “amazing parents.” Her parents were older and her rapist knew this when he singled her out while walking home alone from the library.
Recalling the fateful day, Nazreen said she knew she was in trouble when the man she knew to be a dangerous character in her neighbourhood stopped on the side of the road and asked her to get into his car. “All I saw was the gun- so I had to comply. The moment I got into the car, something in me died. I remember he swore and called me awful names and said he would shoot me. He was much older, a big body builder and I didn’t know at the time he was a policeman,” she said.
The policeman took the frightened teen to his home, threatening to kill her when she started crying and tried to get away. “I was numb and felt dead for that moment, it happened so fast, but I knew I was going to die!” The policeman told her he knew where she lived and that she lived with old parents and threatened to kill them all if she told anyone of the rape as he dropped her off where he picked her up.
“He did not wear a condom or anything, I felt sick! Ever since that day, I lost focus on everything- my goals, school, sports which I loved and stopped eating. I hated myself and was terrified, so just shut down.”
With a feeling of helplessness, Nazreen became rebellious and started smoking, joined the wrong crowd at school and got involved in petty crimes. She put the pain and memory of her rape aside and it was only a few years ago as she battled depression did she realise she would have to deal with the trauma of the rape. “I started getting flashbacks of the incident. I felt so trapped despite everything around me at my disposal, I was getting hospitalised for depression. At some point I started to think I was worthless because I was stripped of my dignity but after getting help for my anxiety attacks, I started to develop coping mechanisms to deal with these flashbacks. I was then able to gather the courage to open a case against him,” she said.
After a telephonic call with her attacker, she was again threatened and later received more anonymous threatening calls forcing her decision to drop the case as she was concerned the safety of her daughter.
I left Durban to get away and started helping abused woman with the Haven of Hope Rape Crisis Centre in Hibberdene. “I found my purpose and came back to Durban five years ago, decided to help other women, did charity work and that’s what helped me heal. I was ready to take back my life and goals, got my Sports Conditioning diploma and became a coach and personal trainer to motivate other women.
“My passion is to empower other women to tap into their strengths. Women come with such strength, but we really don’t know of it until we tap into it and unleash our strength. I use fitness and motivation to get them through their challenges,” she said.
Showing that dynamite comes in small packages, Nazreen is only 1,59m and weighs 53kg, and has pledged to do the body building competition to give hope to vulnerable women. “No matter what happened or is going to happen, nothing can strip them of their dignity and strength they encompass. I will take the stage to show them life doesn’t end when you feel shattered. I’m proof, you have to just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and break those shackless,” she said.
To get in touch or support Nazreen’s upcomming projects email: nazfitnessnhealth@gmail.com for more information.