All it takes is a little bit of give and take

A BIT of give and take, and being there for each other through thick and thin has been the recipe for a long, happy marriage for Van and Esme van Rensburg.

The couple celebrated 60 years of marriage with a special lunch with family and friends last Thursday, 3 July.

“It’s important to always sort out your problems as soon as possible and to then forget about them. There’s no set recipe though,” said Van, speaking of how the couple have remained so happy after all the years.

Recalling how they met, Esme said her family had a German girl staying with them who told her when she got home one day tht she had spotted Van, a window dresser, working in a shop in town and that she had to go and see him.

“She said she would buy me a chocolate parfait if I went with her. I went to look at him and told her I would much rather have the chocolate parfait! Two years later however, I went to a party with some friends. The guys had fancy cars and motorbikes, but Van and his two friends arrived on push bikes!” she said.

“It was definitely the start of things – she chose the guy with the push bike!” said Van.

The couple were engaged in 1953 and married a year later. They have three sons, Kevin, the oldest, who lives in Wilderness, and who has a son, a daughter and a grand-daughter, Tony, who the couple now live with in Overport, and a son in Australia, Robin, who has a daughter. The couple said they are very proud of their sons who have never given them any trouble.

Van started his career as a window dresser, worked with outfitters thereafter and finally worked selling property.

Emse started working at a photographic company, then moved on to manage American Swiss years later. She then formed a partnership with two other men, opening Theatre Lane Jewellers in Pietermaritzburg. She also helped her son Tony in his art gallery in the Pavilion a few times a week. After this she opened a gallery in Pietermaritzburg and ran a B&B on a smallholding in Ashburton. The couple moved to Durban in February.

Esme was a competitive ballroom dancer and enjoyed cake icing as a hobby. Van used to work hard in the five acre garden on their property in Ashburton and still enjoys pottering around in the garden at the house in Overport. They both enjoy reading and watching the odd programme on TV.

“We have been fortunate to have our health and the support of our boys. We have had a good life. Esme has a very understanding and loveable nature, she loves and trusts everyone, and I have gone along with that. We have always kept communication open in our marriage, and I have tried my best to help with the children,” said Van.

“I didn’t think we would get to our 60th anniversary, but time goes very quickly. Our anniversary was such a happy day and I got thoroughly spoilt! I don’t know what I’d do without Van. He has always supported everything that I have done and has done a lot to make my life a lot easier. I am sure we will make another 10 years – the years go by so fast, it feels like it was our 50th anniversary just yesterday!” said Esme.