…And now for something totally different

My work email has been the target of a concerted spam attack in recent weeks. I’m long past the point of opening mails and filtering into the “possible use” and “trash” folders. Now, I read no further than the subject line and hit delete, delete, delete! You won’t believe the kind of trash mail I get, from enthusiastic foreign investors looking to partner with me in some or other business venture, to international lawyers trying to track me down because someone who shares my name has  a large inheritance they are dying (in some cases literally) to sign over to me. Of course there are the hundreds of prizes I’ve supposedly won via my email accounts, cellphone number etcetera, etcetera, etcetera! If any of it were true, I’d be on the Forbes list of the world’s richest.

Amongst all these emails heading for the cyber trash heap were a number I’d received from AshleyMadison.com … the subject line encouraged me to  spice up your life, have an affair … My finger didn’t waiver, I hit delete and moved on. It was only after watching a recent episode of Carte Blanche  on cyber infidelity which focused on the world’s premier online affair service, AshleyMadison.com, that curiosity got the better of me. The social network concept, founded by a man known as the crown King of Infidelity  is the second fastest growing site in the world after Facebook and at the time I last checked, has more than 20-million users in 30 countries. In South Africa, it has 163 000 users – or to put it bluntly – cheaters.

Now, I’m not one to take the moral high ground and point fingers. To each his own – whatever rocks your boat or blows your hair back – it has sweet blow all to do with me. But, as a keen student of social anthropology I have to admit I’ve been more than a little intrigued, not about having a cyber affair let me hasten to add, but the interesting facts and figures that researchers have been able to deduce from the activities and behaviour of the millions of users.

For example, new research reveals that while Christmas and the holidays are traditionally a time for family, there will be little festive cheer for wives as cheating husbands spoil their mistresses and scrimp on their spouses when it comes to gifts. (I’ve no doubt this works both ways, but the research survey focused only on 6253 actively cheating husbands across SA.) The survey supposedly helped researchers in understanding male infidelity and their Christmas spending habits.

So this is where it got interesting. The research reveals that wives can expect technology items under the Christmas tree this year,  next on the list for wives are clothing vouchers. Coming in third at a whopping 13,45 per cent are kitchen appliances, followed by spa vouchers, music and books. On the other hand, mistresses enjoy  greater spoils, with their gifts paid for in cash to avoid that incriminating paper trail.  This year, the discerning mistress can expect in her silk Christmas stocking, gifts of ewellery, lingerie, perfume, fashion accessories and even a getaway .

Now, maybe it’s my advancing years or general cynicism but give me a good book, a zooty blender to whip up some margueritas, or  some comfortable Woolies cotton pjs and I’m more than happy to forego the bling, the scraps of ill fitting, easily stained, satin and lace  masquerading as lingerie or some trendy fashion accessory that simply doesn’t go with anything in my not-so-trendy wardrobe!