EDITOR – The fallout from the recent “racist” incident at Spur confirmed my suspicions: My fellow South Africans have turned into a bunch of mindless individuals who are raising monsters. I’m sorry, but it’s true.
Here’s the thing – I would’ve reacted just like both of those parents if I were in either of their shoes. Someone attacked me like that once because I would not let my kids play with hers. I simply closed my door and got on with my day without rising to the bait. Sadly, we did not gain social media fame since the story didn’t make it onto social media, because we were both the same race.
Nobody likes to hear that their little angel is wrong. But the problem is that we – as parents – are just so happy to dump our kids in the playroom while we sit and drink and forget that we are adults. That’s after leaving them at school for eight hours a day. Of course they are going to act out!
Kids need personal attention from their parents. They need to be taught how to behave in public and they need stimulation from us. Do you know that kids who don’t eat meals with their families are at greater risk to end up doing drugs and committing suicide? Not only do you put your kids at risk for bullying by palming them off to the child minders in the play area (a cesspool for germs!), but you also put them at risk for teenage problems.
Kids feel frustration at the lack of attention they get from their parents, and they don’t know how to channel it into productive outlets, so they bully. With poor parental guidance at best, we are raising a lost generation.
Add to our poor parenting the fact that we continue to fuel hate-filled racial division and we’ve invented a recipe for disaster.
Finally, to the keyboard warriors who think they are doing the world a lot of good by sharing hate-filled posts: you’re not. You are only making matters worse and it’s our kids that suffer at the end of the day. Yes, I agree with you that both parents were in the wrong. Yes, Spur could’ve handled it better (don’t even get me started on their poor service of late) and yes, we have a very real issue with racism in our country. Both those parents were silly to bring race into a childish issue, but it’s not their fault – their parents failed to teach them better. But you, keyboard warrior, you should know better.
Tell me, if I tell you you are wrong and so is your entire race, are you going to change, or are you going to back down? No you’re not! Stop fooling yourself, if your children’s future really matters to you.
Hurt people hurt people. Let’s stop the hurt. If a person of another race is being racist, show them how to be a better person by being the better person; not by sharing the hell out of their pathetic posts to highlight their stupidity, but by being more mature for your country and for your kids’ future.
Here’s how you handle problematic social media posts:
1. Report it to the social network (there’s a fun button to press – it’s really easy!) and to the authorities, if it promotes hate speech, crime, or violence.
2. Block the person.
3. Move on with your life.
Change starts with you. If you can’t do the above, then you’re not a grownup capable of raising well-adjusted kids who will make this beautiful country a safe, welcoming place to be and build a strong global economy.
And to Spur: Please, I beg of you, please close down those darn play areas. Use the space to expand your restaurants, or make more space between tables. They are more trouble than they are worth and they will help heal the country. It starts with families spending more time together. You could even build a “family” room, where parents can sit with their kids playing nearby. RJs have a concept like that and you never see sugar-crazed brats running around knocking waiters off their feet. You may regain some goodwill from grateful families who don’t really want their kids exposed to ill-mannered kids in playrooms.
The time for talking is over. You’re a family restaurant, so start promoting families being together, eating together, and doing things that make people and the country grow from this hurt and abused little child into a thriving rainbow nation.
Mom
Berea
