To use a simple and cliched example: when we judge someone by the way they look, we’re being shallow.
When a person falls in love with someone else because of their appearance or achievements or position, they’re shallow.
Even friendships are often not as deep as we would have ourselves believe.
Does a real friendship constitute hanging out with a person once a week, exchanging the usual chit-chat, then getting intoxicated and discussing other people’s lives, the latest …(enter product of choice), money and how good members of the relevant (attractive) gender look, as they walk by?
That question was way too long.
Anyway, I believe a real friendship constitutes helping each other, laughing together, crying together and divulging thoughts the strange layman should never know of.
Of course friends can have fun together and participate in all the above, but when it’s made up of only the things listed in the question, it’s shallow.
More likely than not, most of us want such a deep connection with someone, be it a friend, mentor or romantic interest.
It’s more difficult than ever to have this connection.
I’m not someone who’ll organise a witch hunt for fans of social media, TV, films and small talk.
I’m a huge fan of all those things (bar the small talk) myself, but I can feel how shallow I already am, and am afraid of escalation, the reasons for which are listed below:
- TV’s presence on this list is self-explanatory, I believe.
- Films can often be deep and genuine, but are usually meant to satisfy only the senses, using hollow, superficial characters to achieve that goal.
Most romcoms portray love by two simple formulas (gender- and sexuality-friendly):
- A meets B; A unexpectedly falls in love with B; A does everything to make B fall in love with A; B slowly starts coming around; a problem (which should be small enough for adults to resolve, but is exaggerated and over complicated) arises; B is angry at A; A does something amazing (like win a competition, defeat the bad guy or fulfil the film’s title); B is so impressed, not words, but a kiss solves their previous quarrel; they live happily ever after.
- A meets B; A has to work with/for B or makes a bet regarding B or has to fight B; A and B appear to hate each other, which is portrayed using a funny montage and places them in increasingly romantic/sexual situations; A and B let it happen; a problem (see reason one) arises; A and B are angry at each other; their friends and family (who were apparently present the entire time) convince them they belong together; not words, but a kiss solves their previous quarrel; they live happily ever after.
Now that I have finished that incredibly long arc of conversation, let’s continue with the list.
- Small talk doesn’t say anything about a person’s innermost thoughts.
People will usually follow a generally accepted consensus when speaking of the tiny things that waste the precious few moments we have in life.
- Social media is very useful today (excepting the spelling degradation all the micro-second saving acronyms bring).
Instead of waiting weeks for replies by pigeon, or not being near a telephone, we can instantly talk to loved ones (and not-loved ones).
The dark side of this rising entity is the lack of human interaction.
However much we want to deny it, there is a chasmal difference between a face-to-face conversation and an instant message with a :).
I find myself making relatively good jokes on Whatsapp, then waiting for that emoticon or “lol” we all adore so much, but having hardly anything to say or ask when facing homo sapiens, instead of homo digitus.
To be honest, I truly fear what the future holds for the human race; will emotion and human interaction survive the digital revolution?
Of course this article is shallow by its own standards.
Instead of looking at the news coverage TV brings, the artistic films born from the boredom with romcoms, the tension release of small talk and the many benefits of social media, I looked at the negative aspects of these things.
I chose to look only at the things that were troubling me at the moment I wrote this piece…well, I guess that’s why they call it an opinion piece (which, btw you can also find on Facebook, Twitter and our website).
