So, I did it.
I succumbed to the wishes of my girlfriend and became one of those dudes who went to watch Fifty Shades of Grey.
To be honest, I have never been a movie buff, and I have not done a “review” in ages, but I suppose a slight case of “curiosity killed the cat” got the better of me, and I decided to do my fellow man a service and see what all the fuss is about.
I grabbed a large Slush Puppy and entered the cinema at the Northmead Square oblivious to the actual “plot” of the film.
As a warm-blooded male, who has never read the book, all I knew about Fifty Shades of Grey was that there would be some sensual and steamy sex scenes (naturally).
Based on the best-selling novel by E.L James, Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) is a virgin and a soon-to-be college grad who is sent to interview 27-year-old billionaire benefactor Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan).
As soon as Ana bites her lower lip, Grey decides to pursue her.
Blah, blah, blah… fast-forward to the weird S&M-style hanky-panky in Mr Grey’s freaky play room.
I say that because, as a guy, that’s really the only thing which keeps you in your chair for the duration of the movie and, if you watched late night e.tv as a teenage boy, then you probably won’t be left mind-blown either (don’t pretend like you never did, chaps).
In my opinion, the banter between the leading roles is about as intriguing as a pottery class with Gwede Mantashe, and is a guaranteed one-way ticket to Snoozefest 2015.
I could go on and on about what a dull affair it was for me, but the ladies in attendance seemed to like it, and if the lasses are happy, then it’s probably best that, as a gent, you just grit your teeth and bear it.
The ending was pretty boring too, but I am told that there are still two films to follow in the series.
Great!
Now I need to devise a smart plan to avoid watching the next installments of the enlightening Fifty Shades tale.
Maybe I should paint eyeballs on my eyelids!
My verdict: Watch the film if you want to make your better half happy. If you are single then enjoy that sweet sweet freedom!
If you want a bit of a laugh then watch how these older folk react to the Fifty Shades of Grey movie trailer:
LG
