Papa do my Hair urges men to show up for their daughters

A hair salon is usually off-limits to men, and when it comes to a hair day in most homes, fathers typically get the day off to hang out with their friends or watch their favourite sports teams compete.

A few dads have decided it was time to break that stereotype and show up for their girls by learning how to style up.

At the helm of this is Mahlatse Mashua, a dad to three girls and Heartlines Fathers Matter Ambassador.

The idea stemmed from an occasion when Mashua’s wife was away while he remained at home to care for his daughters. One morning, his nine-year-old daughter requested him to do her hair, and he realised he had no clue what to do.

From there came the idea for Papa do my Hair.

“Sometimes, as fathers, we tend to be encouraged to do the bare minimum. That is the old story, though,” says Mashua.

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“The new story would be that we consider fathering a much bigger category and not just ‘I’m the helper’. It opens up amazing opportunities to play an important role in your baby’s life.”

Mashua and a few friends recently set up a salon for the day at his home in Vredehoek, Cape Town.

They invited a professional stylist to teach them essential hair basics such as knowing the difference between braids, an upstyle, an afro and twists.

They also learned how to wash and care for their daughters’ hair.

“The issue of hair among girls often represents and relates to other issues such as identity, their concept of beauty, bullying, stereotypes, values, role models and self-esteem,” says Mashua.

“This Papa do my hair initiative is a fun and entertaining way to engage dads in conversations about why fathers matter in their children’s lives even in areas that are traditionally ‘mom roles’.

“By learning more about their child’s hair, dads will learn a valuable skill. You are not just helping; this is what you do. This is your responsibility. It’s a manly thing,” adds Mashua.

“Fatherhood is emotive for many South Africans. Studies show there are numerous benefits for children, mothers and fathers themselves when fathers are positively involved in the life of a child.

“Positive father involvement has also proven to cause a decline in gender-based violence, substance abuse, violence and several health and psychological risks posed to children.

“While the narrative is already shifting, much remains to be done.

“Heartlines wants to inspire and encourage men and society to consider how important it is for fathers to be a positive influence in children’s lives,” he said.

Through their six Fathers Matter films supporting resources and the broader campaign, they aim to remind us of this.

If this inspired you, here are some thoughts to get you started:

• Be deliberate

Affirm your daughter and embrace the beauty and complexity of all that she is.

• Be practical

Look for opportunities to demonstrate love and set a positive example of empathy and involvement.

• Be willing to learn

Get out of your comfort zone and master new skills. Don’t let preconceived ideas about men’s traditional roles stop you from being creative in exploring ways to build deeper connections.

• Be in the community

Share your experience with other fathers so that you can encourage, support, and challenge one another.

• Watch the Papa do my Hair film.

Anyone who would like to be involved in reshaping the narrative about South African fathers can visit the Fathers

Matter website for more information: www.fathersmatter.org.za.

About Heartlines

Heartlines is a social and behaviour change organisation that encourages people to live positive values through its projects, which include producing films and multimedia resources that aim to spark conversations around values and equip people to live these values.

Heartlines further facilitates values-based training, workshops and motivational talks for companies, organisations and groups.

About Fathers Matter

Fathers Matter is a Heartlines initiative to promote the positive and active presence of fathers in their children’s lives.

At the centre of the project are the Heartlines Fathers Matter films – six anthology films set in various contexts around South Africa.

Each short film is a compelling drama that explores the complexities of fatherhood in South Africa, where most children grow up in homes without their biological fathers.

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