#16DaysofActivism: ‘I am an overcomer not a survivor’

It is the making of a horror story. A badly injured mother unable to save the life of her only child, lying bleeding mere metres away from four stab wounds to her chest, inflicted by a man they’d shared a home with for close to a year.

In the midst of 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children, “overcomer” of gender-based violence Bettina-Ann Coke talks about an ordinary Monday morning that transcended into violent chaos in the blink of an eye and during which her daughter was killed.

Bettina-Ann, who is petite and softly spoken, is still living through the legal processes related to the perpetrator, her fiancé at the time, and hopes her experiences with the police and legal system can offer some guidance to others.

Her message is that the law has got to take its course if you want to see justice.

“I said ‘stop, in the name of Jesus’ and he responded, ‘Sorry, Jesus, but I have to do this. Thankfully I grabbed the knife; it kind of brought him to his senses. But Adrianne was already dying.”

This was the tail-end of a brutal attack on the two women in their home on Kemston Avenue, Western Extension, on the morning of March 5, 2018.

Charles Peter Barker (now 45) was sentenced to life imprisonment for the murder (premeditated) of Adrianne Coke (21) and 18 years for the attempted murder of Bettina-Anne (now 52), in August 2020.

He has been granted leave to appeal and will do so next year.

In the meanwhile, Barker remains in Modderbee Prison. This is a concern Bettina-Ann has managed to share with the head of the prison. Apparently, he is “on a list” to be moved to a maximum security prison but, Bettina-Ann says, he has appealed against this on the basis of his health.

The thing that haunts the family immensely though is that Barker has never admitted guilt (he did not put in a plea) or given any reasons for doing what he did that fateful morning. The court also found he showed no remorse.

Relationship

Barker was newly paroled for a murder he committed on March 4, 2004, when he moved in with his mother next door to the Coke family in Impala Park in June 2015, having only served half his sentence.

He and Bettina-Ann started dating three months later and were engaged in February 2016. Bettina-Ann was aware of “everything” about his past. She recognises today though that much of what Barker told her about his past, including his childhood, was probably not true.

She was aware of the previous convictions. Barker was charged with assault GBV in 2003 and murder and robbery with aggravating circumstances the following year, for which he was sentenced to 14 years in 2005 (the state appealed this sentence and it was increased to 20 years). He was supposed to be on parole until March 2025.

“My family accepted him; nobody judged Charles for his past. I’d say the biggest stumbling block in our relationship was his difficulty in integrating back into society. We adjusted together, overcoming challenges as they arose,” Bettina-Ann said.

“I wasn’t scared of him. His past didn’t scare me. I went with him to sign for his parole; we did everything together. He took care of us, such as cooking meals. He’d only been working permanently for 10 months at the time of the attack. In fact, he was going to start a job as a branch manager that very morning.”

Tragically, Bettina-Ann found out afterwards that Adrianne had confided in her grandmother about a job interview she had scheduled for that day and wanted to surprise her mom with. Adrianne had dreams of being a fashion designer.

That morning

It started with a pair of pants Barker wanted to wear and had to iron. It was just after 06:00. Bettina-Ann recalls he was angry about having to wear this particular pair of pants and said he would tear it up.

“I went to the laundry area where the ironing board was and saw he had, in fact, torn the pants. When I went to talk to him about it in the bedroom I saw he was packing a bag. He said he was leaving. I was confused.

“He then put a belt around my neck. I pushed him away and said ‘stop your nonsense’. Adrianne had heard the commotion and come out of her bedroom. She and I went into my bathroom and when we tried to close the door

Charles pushed it open, grabbed Adrianne by the back of her head and slammed her head into the toilet seat. He also pushed me against the bath.

“Charles isn’t a big man; he only weighed 85kg at the time, but he grabbed each of us under an arm and dragged us to the kitchen where he got a knife. He then dragged us back to the main bedroom and closed the door.”

Barker first launched a frenzied knife attack on Adrianne, leaving her bleeding profusely next to the bed. At that point, Bettina-Ann managed to grab the knife from him.

She was also stabbed four times and suffered defensive wounds to her right arm and hand. She had to learn to write again as a result.

“He was straddling Adrianne, supposedly trying to help her, then he phoned his mother and I took the phone and told her to get an ambulance. I phoned my sister and CMS. I couldn’t scream; I had no voice, and it was very difficult to use my phone with all the blood on my hands.

“I remember telling Charles to go and that I would tell everyone robbers had broken in and attacked us. I just wanted him out of the house. He got into his car and drove off.”

Adrianne was declared dead at around 07:30. Barker was arrested at a petrol station in North Rand Road at about 08:00 where he was trying to wash himself in the bathroom. Bettina-Ann was admitted to the hospital.

“If I didn’t have my faith, I would never have come through what I have. I don’t consider myself a victim. I am an overcomer. While I’ve been unemployed for five and a half years now, I am grateful for what I have; I have everything I need, but I have nothing without Adrianne here,” Bettina-Ann said.

Red flags

“I believe red flags are different for victims of abuse. We weren’t ever abused by Charles.

“Yes, he had outbursts but I think these were brought on by his immense frustration at times at the simple things we take for granted that he battled with as part of his reintegration into society.

“He found it hard to adjust socially and it was difficult for him to get a job or a fair salary when employers found out about his criminal history. I don’t believe the prison system does enough to prepare convicts for reintegration into society.”

Additional facts:

• The case was nearly struck from the roll in September 2018 because DNA results were still not available. The DNA results were only available a year later. Barker also requested a psychological evaluation and was sent to Weskoppies.

• The murder of Adrianne was deemed to be premeditated because Barker incapacitated her with his arm around her neck and dragged her to the kitchen where he fetched a knife. He also said he was going to kill her.

• Barker’s version of events was that Bettina-Ann accused him of having a sexual relationship with Adrianne and Bettina-Ann stabbed her daughter then herself. The court found it impossible that Bettina-Ann’s wounds could have been self-inflicted.

• Barker also claimed Bettina-Ann visited him in prison in January 2019 and asked him to ‘take the fall for her’.

• Bettina-Ann’s father found a knife under the mattress in the main bedroom on March 16, 2018, after Bettina-Ann had asked him to remove boards which were under the mattress of the double bed. During cross-examination. Barker could not confirm the knife in the court exhibit as a murder weapon. During his evidence, he was, however, convinced that it was indeed the weapon that was used.

Insights from Bettina-Ann as an “overcomer” of gender-based violence:

• Stay off social media, whether you are a victim or anyway else involved. Your comments here can jeopardise the case. The average person turns to social media in these situations because they don’t get answers from the police. You have to let the wheels of justice turn.

• Only talk to the police, social workers, advocates and psychologists. Don’t discuss the case with anyone else, not friends and not family.

• Nobody will explain to you that the justice system is there to protect society, not the individual. It’s a difficult concept to accept.

• Don’t involve the media until the case goes to court. Then it is important, as it is in the public interest.

• You must attend court as much as possible. Know who the investigating officer and state prosecutor for the case are as they are the people who can keep you informed.

• If you are dissatisfied with anything related to the case you can report the investigating officer to the station commander and the prosecutor to the senior public prosecutor.

• The investigating officer is more than likely not going to treat you the way you think you should be treated. They can be abrasive and just get on with the investigation.

• I received no support during or after the court case. I believe there should be a person appointed to be with you and your family throughout proceedings to offer support.

• There is no support for victims or their families.

• Victims in rape and murder cases are supposed to be put on a victim list and kept informed of anything related to the case and perpetrator. I only recently found out about this list and was added to it last year (2022).