Schools should be a happy and safe space for children, but what happens when that environment turns into a scariest place for a child who is being bullied?
This hits home for a Hoërskool Hans Moore learner who now feels suicidal following months of being victimised by a fellow learner.
According to the learner, who wished to remain anonymous due to fear of victimisation, the bullying started this year when the fellow learner, who’s in Grade Eight, allegedly started being aggressive towards her.
“He started shouldering me everywhere we meet just to hurt me. In March, he started making threats that he will stab me and my friend to death. As shocked as I was, I ran to one of the grade heads and told him what I heard and he just told me that there is no need to worry as he won’t do anything.
“In other incidences, he would push me off the stairs and when he walks past me he will call me degrading names, such as slut and whore,” said the learner.
The learner said her mother has tried to engage with the boy’s mother and the school many times about the boy’s behavior but apparently nothing has been done to resolve the matter.
“The grade head always had some kind of excuse or a long story when my mother confronted him about the bullying. Before the school closed for the first term, he messaged my mother and told her that he has spoken to the boy’s parents and apparently they have been given two options – to take their child out of the school or there will be a disciplinary hearing and he could subsequently be expelled.
“But the bully is still at school and he still bullies me.
“It breaks my heart to see the bully walking freely, while innocent children like me are scared to go to school because of him.”
The learner said she has once tried to take her own life because of bullying.
“I barely cope. It is difficult, though I try to keep my head high but there are days where I hit a very low depression and hide away.
“Some days I believe that it is my fault that I am being bullied and other days I mingle with the people I care for just to know that it is not my fault,” she said.
She added that her boyfriend and her friend have also been dragged into the situation and they are also victimised by the bully.
The City Times approached the school for comment but the principal declined to comment, stating the matter is under investigation.
The school did commit to sharing the outcome of the investigation with the City Times.
According to Child Line SA, bullying is very difficult for children, or anyone, to deal with.
Also Read: Willowmoore High says no to bullying
Danie van Loggerenberg, founder of Child Protection Hotline, advised bullied learners to speak up so that they can get the necessary help.
“In this case, the Child Protection Hotline can assist in getting the bullied child counselling as well as the necessary help in getting the bully to stop – be that by speaking to the school, the parents or the children at the school.
“Secondly we can help the bullied child with the steps to take action against the bully. Gone are the days where bullies only get a slap on the wrist.
“If the school and parents do not assist, we can open a case at the harassment court (situated at the closest Magistrate’s Court). We can also assist the bully in getting counselling to find out why he or she is being a bully,” said van Loggerenberg.
To report cases of child abuse call Child Protection Hotline on 066 557 7124 (SMS andWhatsApp).
Chantal Grotto of Tough Love Benoni shares ways to help a loved one who is being abused:
• Set up a time to talk: Try to make sure you have privacy and won’t be distracted or interrupted. Try be face to face with this person if possible.
• Let them know you’re concerned about their safety: Be honest. Help them see that abuse is wrong. They may not respond right away, or they may even get defensive or deny the abuse. Let them know you want to help and will be there to support them in whatever decision they makes.
• Be supportive: Listen to them. Keep in mind that it may be very hard for them to talk about the abuse. Tell them that they are not alone and that people want to help. If they wants help, ask them what you can do.
• Don’t place shame, blame, or guilt on her: Tell them you understand that the situation is very difficult.
• Encourage her to talk to someone who can help: Offer to help her find a local domestic violence agency, church, police or support group
• Encourage them to do things outside of the situation: It’s important for them to see friends and family that are healthy and good for them
Also Read: Bullying in SA schools: What all parents need to know
