Therapeutic alliance saves former addict

Drug Awareness Week takes place from June 22 to 26.

Recovered addict Shane Meyer, a Rynfield resident *shared his journey from addiction to recovery.

“It all began when I first started drinking alcohol in Grade Nine,” he said.

“I would go out partying and drinking it up around the town, but my spiral only kicked in when I met my drug of choice, cocaine.”

Shane matriculated from Benoni High School in 2007. He knew at this point he wanted to be a pilot and had already been accepted to complete his studies.

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“Before I left school I had already been smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol, but once I had officially left I became full blown involved in all kinds of drugs I could get my hands. This included meth, Cat and cocaine,” he said.

“I would hustle for money to get the feel for the high again.

“I came from a very good and wealthy home, so one could never blame my upbringing. I was always just looking for a way to heal my pain, to feel something different.”

While on drugs, this Benonian admits to having no regard for authority, he would swear at police and disregard anything they or anyone would tell him.

“No one could touch me. This was my outlook on life,” he said.

“But everything changed in 2010 when I was arrested. At the time, I had run away and had been missing for days. I can’t even tell you what I did or where I went, it was all such a blur. All I can remember is being awake for nine days flat and being arrested.

“I was on the brink of death at the time, weighing 80kg. Today I weigh 120kg, just to show you how underweight I was.

“My parents had hired private detectives to find me, and when they did I was immediately tested and came up positive for drugs. I was taken into custody at the Benoni police cells.

“That night was one of the hardest nights I had ever gone through. I was coming down from my high, hallucinating like crazy, hearing screams from everywhere and I was just downright petrified.

“While in the cells I still believed everyone was overreacting, that I was completely fine and doing nothing wrong but enjoying myself.”

He then had a decision to make. He could either stay in jail or attend rehab for 12 months.

“That’s when I left for the South Coast to attend rehab,” he said.

“It was not easy, I did run away once while being there to go and party but was picked up by the police and taken straight back. I was a very difficult person at that rehab, I fought constantly and was always in denial.

“But then I met Mark Dixon Seager, a counsellor at the rehab, and he saved my life. He took me under his wing and trained me to help others. Without him I don’t think I would be alive today.”

Upon being released from rehab, Shane changed his ideal profession from pilot to psychologist.

“I just knew what I wanted to do. I was born to help others like me, help others that maybe aren’t like me but going through something similar,” he said.

“What people don’t understand is that these professionals charging R600 to R800 an hour may be able to help, but they weren’t able to help me.

“You don’t want to feel judged while someone sits and stares and writes notes. You want someone to understand exactly what you are going through, which I am now able to do without judgement.

“Addicts know how to fool you, they can tell when you’re easily taken advantage of, so having someone who understands or has been through the same thing works because we pick up on the falseness.

“Also, people can’t afford to get the help they need, which is why I have started my own practice charging R250 an hour. I don’t care about the money, I care about the people. But one needs to make a living, which is the only reason I charge.”

After being rehabilitated in 2011, Shane *trained more practically first then did addiction counselling in 2012, started his diploma in applied psychology in 2014 and then his degree in applied social sciences, before graduating last year. 

He also became a single dad to his daughter, Skylar, in 2016.

“I love my daughter, she knows I am her rock and will do everything and anything she needs me to do. I am so grateful she wasn’t around during my addiction. She trusts me with her life and I will never do anything to disrupt that, I am honoured to be her father,” he said.

“I love what I do, I just want to help the people, my purpose is to connect and to understand. I don’t just work on textbook rules, I listen to understand and better learn how to assist by doing my research.

“It’s pointless overloading people with information. Addicts feel they know better. If you make your information tangible you start to see the changes and for me, seeing my clients change for the better, grow and discover more about themselves is the reward.”

Shane feels forming a therapeutic alliance is what saved his life and is what he is now doing with all his clients.

“I am a person who wants to get to know you, if you want to sit and stare without talking for an hour then I shall do that with you. Regular day-to-day people are just as important as a CEO, they deserve to be heard without judgement,” he said.

“I have counselled doctors, lawyers, psychologists, children, politicians’ children and grandchildren. Every single person on this planet needs help, which is why I have started up my practice which I am hoping to turn into an NPO or NPC.

“Every human can solve their problems, they just need to be shown how.

“One thinks a drug addict is some guy who lives under a bridge, meanwhile addicts are coming from happy homes or live right under your roof. It’s not true that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped, they don’t know they need help and they won’t believe they do.

“Addicts believe they can stop whenever they want too. It’s your job as their loved ones to make it known, regardless of how upset or angry they may get towards you, which they will.”

ALSO READ: Help your loved ones overcome addiction

This Benonian is working on his very first book to spread awareness of his beliefs and life lessons.

“Everything is the problem, addiction is just the symptom,” he concluded.

If you feel you may have an addiction or are looking for affordable counselling, contact Shane Meyer on 064 678 1792.

*Indicates a change has been made to the article from professional psychologist to trained.

BCT would like to apologise for the misinformation and any inconvenience it may have caused.