ToughLove deals with abuse

“While there is a difference between physical and emotional abuse, it’s heard in the corridors of counsellors and psychologists that emotional trauma is often more challenging,” said Benoni group facilitator and ToughLove SA board member Chantal Grotto

“This is not to say that physical abuse is any less relevant. In fact, abuse as a whole often leads to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which was mostly associated with physical sources of trauma; however, its been noticed that emotional abuse can and does also lead to PTSD.”

What is abuse?

Abuse is the improper usage or treatment of a thing, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Abuse can come in many forms, such as physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, assault, violation, rape, unjust practices, crimes.

What is PTSD?

A disorder characterised by failure to recover after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. The condition may last months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions.

Symptoms may include nightmares or flashbacks, avoidance of situations that bring back the trauma, heightened reactivity to stimuli, anxiety or a depressed mood.

“What victims of abuse need to understand is that when a person is under threat (emotional of physical) the brain will immediately send out a signal making it respond to fight, fright or flight (FFF),” Grotto explained.

“Due to the above, the brain has to cope in response to the FFF and thus releases adrenalin (known as cortisol) into the body to help the victim cope.

These points will assist in processing trauma for abused victims:

• Ground it

Quieten your mind and allow yourself to reconnect with the traumatic incident. Breathe deeply and rhythmically.

• Recall it

Think of a specific situation that you’ve been upset about recently. Review what happened in as much detail as possible and imagine yourself back in that time and place.

• Sense it

Continue breathing deeply and spend a moment in quiet relaxation. Then, mentally scan your body for any sensations. This process is called “percolating” because of the way your emotions will stir and bubble up inside you.

• Name it

Associate an emotion with each of the sensations you feel. Is the tightness in your chest anxiety? Is the heat you feel travelling up your arms anger?

• Love it

Fully accept everything you feel.

• Feel and experience it

Sit and observe your emotions and their sensations. Don’t try to change or hide them, observe them.

• Receive its message and wisdom

Do the sensations or emotions you’re experiencing right now connect with one or more experiences in your past? If you still have trouble, do some free writing.

• Share it

If you feel comfortable sharing your reflections with someone else, do that. Otherwise, write about them on your own.

• Let it go

Visualise the energy your trauma took up inside you leaving your body or perform a ritual of physical release, like (safely) burning a letter you’ve written to the person who hurt you or casting off the trauma in the form of an object into the sea.

If you are struggling with abuse and need help or simply just want to be a part of a loving environment contact Grotto on 082 372 3039 or Matilde dos Santos on 082 052 2269, or send an email to toughlovebenoni@gmail.com

ALSO READ:
Help your loved ones overcome addiction

ALSO READ:

Be kind to yourself through the anxiety of Covid

ALSO READ:

Farrarmere trauma group wants to help you