There’s just something about Benoni.
Hell, we’re a random bunch.
A proud bunch, too.
Although the East Rand town might not offer the epic and stunning scenery that you would find along the South African coastline there’s just something about this little ol’ mining town (which ain’t so little anymore).
Whether you’ve lived in Benoni your entire life or spent a few weeks here, you can be almost certain that the side effects of a true B-Town experience will stay with you for the rest of your days.
Although I am a massive advocate of escaping the pollution (our lungs are power here, brother) and heading out to the bush or beach I have always proudly displayed the metaphorical Benonian badge on my chest and I hope you do, too.
If you are not a ’Nonian then I hope you have your passport on your person and a gum guard on standby when visiting us.
I tell you what, it’s rof in the Far East, boet!
The million dollar question: What makes Benoni the one and only?
I have taken the liberty of drawing up my own A to Z list of all the things that make us as unique as a ginger person at an EFF rally.
So, here we go:
A is for animal lovers united
Benoni plays home to perhaps the largest number of animal activists and animal lovers in the country.
The work being done by the Bunny Park Animals “911” Group is one example of people trying to improve the lives of animals in our community.
Hats off to them and other activists!
Just the other day my editor, Kevin, and I met with and took three young lads from Actonville to the SPCA to visit a pooch they had assisted on a freezing cold winter’s day.
Hopefully their display of kindheartedness will have a ripple effect on the community and on the youths of the town (our future).
CLICK HERE for that story
B is for Benoni City Times, since 1921
Founded by intrepid newshound William Hills in 1921, the Benoni City Times has been there for readers since the mining strikes of 1922, World War II, student uprisings, Rock n Roll, the end of Apartheid and the rise of social media.
It just wouldn’t be Benoni without the BCT in the mailbox every Thursday (and I just happen to work there, just saying).
C is for celebrities, our Benoniwood
Benoni seems to have a magical conveyor belt of local and international stars.
Take a walk down the Cranbourne Lane of Fame (although dodgy nowadays) and you will see some of the names of those humans who have put this little town on the map.
My only concern is that the imprints from the famous old Bunyan Street Caltex Bunny (who always used to get the bird flipped at him) are not there.
D is for “Do you know who I am?”
This is the most frequently posed question across the City of Lakes (apparently everyone in Benoni is famous).
If you have ever found yourself in a sticky situation in a Benoni pub then the above question is probably not that strange to you.
It is usually succeeded by the follow-up threat “I’ll call my cousins.”
I have a pal who was on the wrong end of such comments at that pub in Lakefield (what’s it called nowadays?) one night.
Fortunately, he is quite a fit chap and managed to speed out of there like an ATM bomber fleeing the scene.
Apparently the Main Road bridge over the N12 Highway is a good place to seek refuge from angry Steroid Steves.
E is for Education for the betterment of the nation
Benoni is home to some top class schools.
My alma mater Benoni High School is still regarded as one of the best English-medium public schools in Gauteng and SA and St Dunstan’s College is fast becoming one of the best private schools in the land.
The primary schools around Benoni are all top-notch, too (shout out, Arbor Primary!).
Hoërskool Brandwag is a pretty awesome Afrikaans educational institution that has produced some goeie mense and if you’re technically minded then Hoërskool Hans Moore is a dual-medium school that means serious business.
Just too many to mention.
F is for friends forever
Often, when I seek out an ice cold beverage (or seven) at one of Benoni’s watering holes I end up shaking more hands than Donald Trump at a KKK convention.
Why?
Because, Benonians are some friendly folk and we love looking out for each other.
We might appear strange and scary to the outside world, but once you get to know us you will find that we’re actually more like a soft teddy bear trapped inside a rabid grizzly’s exterior.
G is for gorgeous gals
Obviously I am saying this to gain more Brownie points among the ladies of Benoni, but, in all seriousness, our cherries are the bomb!
Take one look at Charlize Theron, Genevieve Morton or Princess Charlene of Monaco and you will believe me very quickly.
H is for history
Our history is hectic, bru!
Like the Benoni – Now and Then Facebook page and you will be blown away by the incredible tales of the past.
The photographs of old landmarks and buildings are also extremely interesting to say the very least.
It is sad to me that some of these old structures have become panel beaters and such.
Did you know that they used to bring dolphins in a portable tank to the Northmead Mall in the 1970s?
The activists mentioned in point A would definitely not stand for that nonsense these days, but it’s still crazy to know, right?
There is good and bad history about a variety of people from all over the world (did you know about the Chinese miners? Huh?).
Apartheid, of course, formed terrible barriers between us Benonians and fortunately I wasn’t around in those days, besides as an infant in the early ’90s.
There is still some fascinating township history to soak up though.
Did you know that Daveyton was the first township in South Africa to get electricity or did you know that struggle icon Oliver Tambo and his wife Adelaide lived in Wattville in the 1950s?
I might be sounding like the inside of a Chappie wrapper here, but it is incredibly important to keep these facts alive in order to move Benoni and South Africa forward.
Also, did you know that term “Chappie wrapper” in Benoni can also refer to the Benoni High School blazer?
See?
You learn something new every day!
I is for invest in Benoni
This might sound like a marketing scheme, and it is!
We need our beloved Benoni’s economy to flourish, and, as my dad would say: “Money buys the whiskey”.
We all need a swig of that whiskey!
If you’re an entrepreneur do whatever is in your power to base yourself in Benoni.
Also, advertise in your local newspaper (hint, hint!).
J is for “Jewel of the East Rand”
In times gone by Benoni was referred to as the “Jewel of the East”.
Again, I wasn’t alive back then, but from all accounts the CBD in particular was a joy to behold.
Urbanisation changed the landscape of that district forever.
I am pretty sure that the Nigerian pimps (I’m generalising here) who live there now don’t care too much for the aesthetics of the place.
K is for Kentucky Fried What???
Is it just me or are the KFCs in Benoni seriously bad?
I used to love the stuff, but now I think that I would rather eat a bicycle tube than the so-called “chicken” that these okes are selling to consumers.
The fact that they are now open 24 hours a day should be awesome, but, after a jol, rather get a responsible sober friend to take your inebriated self home than wait the million hours that it takes for a fresh batch of the Colonel’s chicken.
I had some KFC near Laudium in Pretoria a little while back and it ran circles around the Benoni branches.
If the Benoni KFC people are reading this: Sort it out, man!
L is for lingo
We certainly have our own slang in this neighbourhood, particularly among white youths.
“Ja no, schweet boet, dead well.”
Benonians have also adopted a lot (and, I mean a lot) of Lebanese words and added them to their vocabularies (no clue where that came from).
Father = “beya“.
Mother = “imeh”
There are also some dirty words, but I won’t be stating those.
One thing is for sure we can confuse the hell out of many visitors to our hood with our exclusive twang.
M is for multi-racial, multi-lingual, multi-awesome
Benoni is a hotbed of differing cultures and races.
From Lebanese people to the Nigerians in the CBD we are the epitome of the Rainbow Nation.
N is for not the same as Boksburg!
If you want to get Benonians all riled up tell us that we’re from Boksburg.
Atlasville people often try to claim Benoni status, but sorry guys your water and lights account says you’re from Boksburg!
Too bad, so sad!
O is for “Only in Benoni!”
It’s a rhyme that works.
As I have said numerous times.
There are certain things that cannot be described.
Some things don’t even surprise us anymore such as guys fishing in Tom Jones Street when the road gets flooded.
We just shrug our shoulders and say: “Only in Benoni”
P is for people
Benoni is made by its amazing people.
From the celebrities to the man in the street.
It is important that we stick together and support those in need.
If we don’t support our own who will?
Q is for Queen and family
In April 1947 the British Royal Family visited the East Rand towns and caused quite a stir by travelling through Boksburg and Germiston at 30 mph, without stopping, to the dismay of the assembled crowds and welcoming committees.
However, they did stop in Benoni to accept flowers from the children (information by Glynis Cox Millett-Clay).
See, even back then the Royal Family knew where to pull in!
R is for restaurants and pubs
It’s funny.
There are some restaurants and pubs in Benoni that stand the test of time and others that hardly last six months.
Benonians certainly love a dop and a chow, but it seems that you have got to offer us something really awesome (and affordable) or face the dreaded fact of extinction!
Or, get to advertising in your local press (another hint, hint)!
S is for sport, sport, sport
Ah, yes… my favourite topic of them all.
Benonians are sport obsessed and are taking the sporting world by storm.
Benoni also plays (and has played) home to some sporting greats.
Emirates Lions coach and former Springbok Johan Ackermann went to school in these parts, Comrades record holder Frith van der Merwe lives here while former Bafana Bafana players Pollen Ndlanya and Jabu Mahlangu grew up in Daveyton.
There are many others!
Visit a local club on any given weekend and you are bound to see numerous smiling young and old faces playing sport and staying active.
If you have never watched the Benoni football derby before (between Benoni Northerns and Old Bens) then you are seriously missing out it in life.
T is for tough
Benoni is tough, china!
Check out what former Benoni resident Barry Hilton had to say about this topic:
U is for unique identity
If you have a connection to Benoni then you are blessed with your own unique Benoni-ness!
Embrace it and take it to the world!
V is for vanishing right before our eyes
Cape Town has Table Mountain and we have our Kleinfontein Mine Dump.
Well, at least we did until some dudes started clearing “our mountain” to sell off the gold dust.
The Benoni skyline will never look the same again!
CLICK HERE to read more about that.
W is for wetlands and conservation
I mentioned somewhere above that we don’t have the scenery of some of the coastal cities, but let’s not forget about our incredible wetlands and conservation areas.
The most beautiful birds (and I’m not talking about the women this time) can be seen at Korsman Conservancy or at the Bullfrog Pan.
We really need to keep these places front of mind when developing areas.
X is for Xtreme
Remember the guys from Crazy Monkey “Straight Outta Benoni”?
Those dudes from MTV who did the most “xtreme” stuff in trollies and even made a movie and what not?
Nah, me neither…
Moving along…
Y is for youthfulness
One thing about Benoni is that there are some talented young people making their mark on the world.
Like those young lads mentioned in point A there is much to be excited about it if that is the kind of youthful exuberance that B-Town is producing.
If you’re young and ambitious keep going.
Z is for ummm… Zesfontein
You try come up with something with the letter Z!
Benoni’s agricultural area of Zesfontein rarely gets a mention so, ummm.. howzit, Zesfontein!
LG
* Please note that this is an opinion piece and that the views expressed here do not necessarily reflect the views of the Benoni City Times or Caxton Newspapers.
Check out some other blogs from this writer:
Transformation in sport? Get real!
Things I learned in the Kingdom of the Zulu and at Comrades (by a guy who didn’t run the Comrades)
Things I learned in the Fair Cape
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