Finding your place in society

“New research shows that fostering a sense of belonging helps reduce stress levels, and consequently improves physical health, emotional well-being and performance,” said ToughLove Benoni facilitator and board member Chantal Grotto.

Grotto sourced her information from hbr.org

What is the feeling of not belonging called?

Estrangement is the feeling that you don’t belong, especially when you’re surrounded by other people.

Here are some deep-rooted possible reasons why you might not feel you belong:

• You weren’t very close to your family.

• You are smarter than your peers.

• You have different religious or political beliefs.

• You don’t look like the people around you.

• You want different things in life from those around you.

Here are some “everyday” habits that could make it challenging for you to connect with other people:

• You’re not opening up about yourself.

• You are too shy.

• You don’t really listen, but you speak a lot.

• You try too hard in your social circle.

• You care too much about what others think.

What does it mean to feel like you belong?

Belonging means acceptance as a member or part. A sense of belonging is a human need, just like the need for food and shelter.

Feeling that you belong is most important in seeing value in life and in coping with intensely painful emotions.

Do people need to belong?

Belonging is primal, fundamental to our sense of happiness and well-being. Belonging is a psychological lever that has broad consequences.

How does the feeling of belonging help to develop a good society?

This sense of belonging develops love, a bond and a desire to give back to society, which helps in improving and developing the society.

Here are four fundamentals that help create that sense of security:

• Take the time to understand what your dreams are and take careful, measured steps towards them.

• Set your own definition of “cool”.

• Embrace who you really are.

• Know your worth.

Ultimately, feeling like you belong is just about understanding that who you are is enough. Insecurities have a way of convincing us that we don’t really belong in even the friendliest of groups.

In this case, it’s up to us to convince ourselves otherwise and work towards becoming more confident people.

When you finally understand your worth, you will realise you don’t need to be this imaginary person in your head to be well-liked or loved.

ToughLove Benoni may be contacted on 082 372 3039, 082 052 2269 or at toughlovebenoni@gmail.com

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