Overcoming challenges and finding the strength to carry on

Women go through a roller coaster of experiences and emotions that need them to be strong even when everything around them seems to be falling apart.

Being in a toxic relationship and finding the strength to walk away takes a lot out of you.

And once you’ve walked away, you find out that you’re pregnant and you have to take care of someone else apart from yourself.

A single mom, who would like to remain anonymous, shared her story with the City Times.

BCT: Could you tell us more about yourself and what you went through?

A: I always thought myself to be a rational thinking person and always try my best to help others out wherever I can.

The person that I was involved with was a drug addict and begged me to please help him to get better.

I tried my best but he stole from me and he lied to me. I lost my job because of him and I lost my family and friends. I was so alone because I wanted to help him.

Every time I tried to get out of the relationship he just kept coming back, I felt trapped because I thought “is this what my life is going to be like?”

When he eventually left, I felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I felt free again.

Then I started feeling ill every day and every night all day. Pregnancy was the last thing on my mind.

BCT: How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?

A: I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be experiencing something that will forever change my life.

I took nine different pregnancy tests and all of them were negative but I just could not shake this sickness every day.

I eventually tried the digital pregnancy test, to my utter shock, the result was ‘pregnant 3+ weeks’.

My life froze, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what would happen when I would have to go to the hospital. How on earth was I going to get through this?

I cried, I cried for days, I was scared and I felt alone.

BCT: What support structure did you have in place at the time?

A: My grandmother was my rock throughout the whole pregnancy. She was with me for every doctor’s appointment.

She was there to catch me when I needed to give blood. She was there when I found out I was having a girl.

She was the person I had in the delivery room with me.

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BCT: Where did you find the strength to carry on when you felt like giving up?

A: When I felt like giving up I reminded myself that this baby did not ask to be here!

You need to be strong not for yourself but for her because she needs you!

BCT: What advice would you give to women who have been in a similar situation?

Never let a relationship make you feel like you have no way out. If you are unhappy in a situation, Get out!

Growing a human is hard work, so don’t be hard on yourself.

There are people that have gone through this and are here for you just like Lauren Jee from Life Choices Pregnancy Centre, who was there for me.

BCT: What are you most grateful for?

I’m grateful for my experience. If I had not gone through such a bad relationship with my ex and gone through what I did, I would not know what a good guy is now.

I have met such an amazing guy now that appreciates me and loves my daughter more than anything.

I am grateful for all the help and advise I got throughout my pregnancy.

My daughter was my greatest lesson and blessing.

I do have days where I am going to mess up and cry because I’m 24 and not able to do what I use to, but then I look at my daughter when she sleeps so peacefully and realise I have a full and wonderful life already.

BCT: What would you say makes you an incredible woman?

A: I have gone through things that not many women would like to go through. I have seen things that give me nightmares but I have given myself time to heal.

I have cried many tears but I am strong and I have a daughter to look after now.

I have overcome obstacles that I thought I would never have to and I made it through.

No matter what, this experience made me feel like an incredible woman.

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