It feels like just yesterday I spent three hours setting up the house for our Christmas lunch.
Like many, I love the festive season. It’s the only time of the year I can tolerate those BoneyM songs on repeat in the shopping centres.
It’s a happy time, children walk around smiling, moms and dads look forward to their well-deserved December breaks and like most people, I look forward to eating just that little bit too much.
Christmas cake and a table full of family members, everyone laughing and joking. I cannot think of anything which makes me happier.
It is also the only time of the year when you get to “catch up” with that creepy relative who simply cannot understand why after being married for a year, you still don’t have a child.
I love those little meatballs and the smell of Christmas lunch in the oven.
But, over the years, I have made a few “beginner” mistakes at our Christmas parties.
I once decided that fine glitter would be pretty on the table and it was; I didn’t think for one moment that I would be vacuuming up glitter pieces for six months afterwards.
Who knew it would get stuck in the carpet?
Then, never host a Christmas eve dinner and Christmas day lunch the same year! Trust me, it sounds like a good idea but the time between party and cleaning and party again is not enough.
Do not think for one minute that serving a three course spread won’t go to waste, by mid-main course everyone is Christmas meal full and you’ll be left with six months of frozen Christmas food.
Serving chocolate fondue is great, cleaning up afterwards, not as much fun.
Last Christmas someone gave the kitten tinsel to play with.
One long piece of sparkly pink floof, miraculously became 17 little pieces. The kitten also now thinks the Christmas tree is a great substitute for a real tree in the garden.
If you’re planning to have your Christmas lunch outside, make sure it’s not going to rain.
Also if it does rain, don’t use creepe paper to decorate the table, inevitably the pretty golds and greens and reds will become a mushy black mess.
And, that mushy black mess stains a white table cloth, lesson learnt.
You do not need three desserts! One is perfectly fine. Unless you are planning to eat pudding for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a week afterwards.
If, like me, you give your pets presents at Christmas time, do not put the packet containing catnip under other presents, they will find it and they will claw at all the other beautifully wrapped presents to get to that catnip.
Decorating the outside of the house with flashing lights sounds like a wonderful idea, until you have them on and it rains, then you’ll be having Christmas dinner by candlelight.
On that note, candles on the dinner table are beautiful, except when they come into contact with those little hats that shoot out of the crackers.
Talking about crackers, did you know it is almost impossible to get rid of the little toys inside them. I swear I’ve thrown out the same plastic compass eight times this year only for it to show up again a few weeks later in some strange place.
I cannot wait to see what catastrophe we will avert this year.
