He is a ‘wanna be’ gangster from Greenstone Hill. Who would have thought this midget muppet of low intellect would reside so close to our offices? Makes sense, I suppose, to operate in the belly of the beast.
This ‘leader’ of no repute has made it his clear intention to attack the integrity of our humble newsroom, even going to far as to call our staff ‘simians’. Besides this drivel, the midget muppet gang-leader also displayed an overly fond love of the word ‘that’. Yech.
He informed us at the newspaper of his intention to improve our abilities by giving up a part of his valuable time – to steal not only our letters, but our mojo as well. I informed this gentlemuppet (I cannot say gentleman, as he is a muppet) that calling our staffers simians was fairly impolite – especially given the South African history of calling people ‘monkeys’ and the wonderfully offensive racial undertones of such a statement.
But oh my, was I in for a shock, which admittedly I should have seen coming, since this muppet is a gangster – albeit a ‘wanna be’ gangster. Our proud little office was threatened! I must admit, the seriousness of this threat was so great that I forgot all about my roast chicken and Russians (come on, you know it’s not the people by now). Amidst the gurgling of my protruding tummy, which direly needed food, I began trembling in my boots. This trembling continued until I came to a point of enlightenment.
The midget muppet gang-leader was lonely. Too much time spent watching movies, I suppose, instead of actively engaging with those around him and developing something akin to intelligence. But then I grew angry, and once again called in the CIA, who are now tracking this grey-fuzzed muppet, as he is clearly a threat to national security.
But it did stimulate a thought process within my meagre, self-absorbed head. What has happened to common courtesy and manners today? Do we launch into attacks on people because we said something offensive and the respondent actually responded? How many times have we been confronted by those delightfully ignorant people who insult all and sundry, but woe betide any who put their foot down and say no more? What really drives a person to the edge of reason is the self-absorbed notion these lesser beings cling to – that they are second only to God, and no-one has the right to contradict what they say, no matter how offensive.
As for me, I have no time for pseud-racists – those people who make racially insensitive comments and then back peddle when someone stands up and says ‘NO!’. These, in my opinion, are the worst kind of racist bigot. They pretend to not be racist, but still pass racist comments, and then scream blue murder when someone has the audacity to say, “That sir, was racist”. These pseudo-racists use the excuse of ‘it was meant to be a joke’ as their excuse.
Such people form the dregs of society, the very bottom of the latrine pit. They are the ones preventing our country from moving forward as they lack the ‘stones’ to be honest.
