During the teen years, children’s social lives focus more and more on evening activities, and so the push for late nights begins.
Rather than negotiate each outing separately, many families set a regular curfew, along with other ground rules about keeping in touch.
A curfew gives children a chance to have greater independence within a structure of clear expectations.
It is also important for parents to get the message across to their children that they care about them and about their safety.
Parents should not get coerced into later nights than they are comfortable with because of protests that other children don’t have to come home so early. You need to determine what’s acceptable in your family, and appropriate for your child.
Parents should be asking questions about who your children are going to be with and their activities. Help your child to anticipate problems and make your expectations clear.
Many parents have a ground rule: when you change locations, you call in. If your child doesn’t call or arrive home when promised, it’s worth finding out why your child is late: the situation may have been out of his or her control.
An earlier curfew is a logical consequence for repeated lateness. When your older child protests at what he or she sees as childish treatment, remind him or her that this is not about being immature or untrustworthy, it’s about being accountable to the people you have a relationship with and respecting the needs of the people who love you.
That means that parents also need to be accountable for their actions and tell their children where they are and how late they are going to be.
